


It's Not The Color I Expected It To Be, But It's Nice Nonetheless

by ditto_licious1



Category: Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Fluff, Human Experimentation, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Later in the story, M/M, Slow Burn, hojo's an asshole
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-01-12 02:09:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 30,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18436856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ditto_licious1/pseuds/ditto_licious1
Summary: Dr. Strife worked under Professor Hojo's team during the upbringing of Sephiroth. The doctor couldn't stand the harsh treatment of the small child. A failed escape attempt later and Dr. Strife ends up the newest human experimentation Dr, Hojo can play his sick fantasies out on.That's how Sephiroth finds him 20 years later.





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> hhhmmm oh wow i wrote angst how did that happen

“Sephiroth? Wake up.”

Sephiroth groggily opened up his eyes to a blond head and warm eyes looking down on him. “Come on. Hurry.” He felt warm hands gently push him up from his bed, one hand cupping his head. “Hurry up and get dressed. We have to go.”

“Dr. Strife? What’s going on?” He quickly sat up, a small sense of dread filling him. “I didn’t think we had any examinations set up for today…” He got out of bed and put on the standard white shirt and pants put forth by the Doctor. 

“There’s not anything set up for today. We’re just going on a small trip.” Dr. Strife was visibly jitty and Sephiroth couldn’t help but notice his shaking hands as he helped him put on his shoes. “Would you like to go outside, Sephiroth? Didn’t you say you wanted to see the sky?” Although his voice held the usual warmth they always did when he spoke to him his attention was divided between Sephiroth, the camera in the corner of the room and the door on the other side. 

Sephiroth had been instructed that he could never leave his room without permission from Professor Hojo, so he’d pretty much given up all aspiration of going outside. Aside from his previous moment of weakness where he had discussed with Dr. Strife how he really wanted to see the sky, and if it truly was as blue as all the books he had read said it was, he didn’t think he would ever really get the chance to actually do so. He mostly engaged in such a conversation because he wanted to continue talking to Dr. Strife. Before and after each examination Sephiroth would be lead back and forth to his room where on the way he got to talk to the Doctor and ask as many questions he wanted without being reprimanded for not knowing something or simply- well- asking too many questions. The short time he was allowed to spend with Dr. Strife was definitely his favorite.

“Professor Hojo said I’m not allowed.” He said confusedly looking up at the Doctor. 

Dr. Strife smiled at him and took hold of his hand. “Yeah, well, Professor Hojo is regrettably away on important business in Midgar right now, so we unfortunately won’t get the chance to ask permission.” The words was spoken with a bitter hint of satisfaction. 

They walked through the door, leaving behind the white room adorned with only a bed and a bookcase filled to the brim with books he’d read more than a hundred times each. Sephiroth felt no need to look back. They walked through white corridor after white corridor pipes and wires draped along the walls making them distinguished from one another, and it wasn’t long before Sephiroth didn’t recognize the hallway they were walking trough. He mostly kept up with Dr. Strifes fast pace, movements so high-strung he almost made Sephiroth stumble a few times when dragging him. The Doctor gave him a tense apologetic smile when it happened, but rather than slowing down only hurried his steps. 

Sephiroth wanted to ask if something was wrong. Dr. Strife had only ever treated him gently and carefully every time they had been together. Never rushing him into anything, even when he deliberately slowed his pace when walking to and from examinations so that he’d be able to spend some more time with the Doctor, he had always had a soft smile on his face while looking at him. Sephiroth had never seen him this uneasy before. It made him nervous. 

Dr. Strife froze mid stride when he heard footsteps approaching them. Sephiroth’s anxiousness only grew, they were definitely doing something they weren't supposed to do. Dr. Strife turned to him and gently picked him up, placing him on his arm as he backed away into another hallway. Sephiroth had never been handled like that before, the most human contact he ever had is someone accidentally brushing against his skin while preparing him for injections or patting him awake if he’d fallen asleep on the examinations table. So when he felt Dr. Strife lift him up his body automatically locked up. Dr Strife noticed and sent him a small, sad smile. Sephiroth forced himself to relax, he’d rather not see that kind of expression on the others face.

The footsteps passed them and only when they turned the corner down the hall did Dr. Strife continue on his way, lightly jogging now with Sephiroth sitting in his right arm and his left supporting his back. Sephiroth twinned his small arms around the Doctor’s shoulders, placing his face in the crook of his neck. Dr. Strife didn’t smell like the other doctors or scientists and he definitely didn’t smell like processed mako like Professor Hojo did. Sephiroth couldn’t quite put his finger on it but Dr. Strife had more of a fresh smell to him. The kind one couldn’t get from soap, but rather something that’s seeped into his clothes, skin and hair. Sephiroth imagined that’s what the outside smelled like, and it rekindled his longing to see the sky.

He felt his stomach churn. “Are we really going outside?” His hopeful tone apparent to the ears. He felt an unfamiliar stinging sensation in the back of his eyes and decided to ask Dr. strife if there was something wrong with them once they had more time.

“We sure are.” Dr. Strife was breathing heavily while trying to even out his voice. “Right now we’re sitting right in the middle of a big mountain, you can see quite clearly for miles on end.” He could hear the smile in the other’s voice. “Endless green forests and an infinite blue sky spanning as far as the eyes can see. The world is a big place Sephiroth. I can’t wait for you to experience it.” Sephiroth couldn’t help but smile at that. If this was one of his more bizarre dreams, he hoped he would never wake up.

He let out a small whisper of “Thank you.” and closed his eyes, patiently waiting for the time to come.

Dr. Strife tightened his hold on him before he skidded to an abrupt halt, jolting Sephiroth in the process.

“It would seem that I was right to speculate that one could not trust you.” The horrifyingly familiar voice said in a mocking tone. Sephiroth wanted to turn around and look, but the Doctor’s hand held him tightly making him unable to even turn his head. Dr. Strife’s breath staggered as he angled Sephiroth away from the new arrival. 

“Professor Hojo, I thought you were in Midgar until further notice?” His breath was shaking, and Sephiroth suspected his arms would be too had it not been for the fact that he was clutching on to him with so much strength.

“You really must take me for a moron if you thought I’d fall for that forged message.” Professor Hojo snorted. Loud footsteps emerged from every direction and in a blink of an eye they were surrounded by both people with guns aiming at them and angry looking scientists in white garb. “You truly have a lot to learn if you thought you could pull one over on me, boy”

“He can’t continue living like this, Hojo.” 

“He will continue living however I see fit.” Hojo sneered. “Sephiroth, come.”

Sephiroth turned his head to look at Dr. Strife, a questioning look in his eyes, but Dr. Strife steadily kept his gaze on the man in front of him.

“Sephiroth, it seems like my teachings haven’t fully stuck with you yet. Perhaps punishment is in order.”

Sephiroth froze. He had been fully familiarized with Professor Hojo’s punishments. And it didn’t feel like it should be called ‘punishment’ as much as it should be called torture. 

Dr. Strife’s hold on him slackened, and he managed to push himself out of his arms. Sephiroth didn’t look back as he walked the short distance to the Professor, but he felt his heart tighten as he let go of the small shrill of hope in his heart.

“Sephiroth.” Dr. Strife’s voice cracked as he tried to call him back.

Professor Hojo put a hand on his shoulder and started to lead him back through the intricate hallways towards his bland room. “Take him to laboratory 3.”

“Sephiroth. It’s ok. Everything’ll be fine.” Sephiroth slowly turned his head, his eyes landing on a blond man on his knees, three men in black held his arms behind his back. Compared to the larger than life man with warm eyes and a kind smile, this one seemed so... small, surrounded by tall people holding him down. “It’s gonna work out, ok? You don’t need to worry about anything.” he said, his voice wavering slightly towards the end. 

Sephiroth cast one last look at his warm blue eyes, then turned around and was lead back to his room that seemed to be a little darker than before.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this story might be a bit longer then I thougth it would be (gotta have room for that sweet fluff)

“Sephiroth!”

Sephiroth looked up from his paperwork to the disheveled redhead barging in to his office. 

“I need your help!” Genesis slammed the door shut and with a quick few steps stood in front of his desk, looking down at him with knitted eyebrows.

“You remember we talked about knocking before you enter a room?” Sephiroth drolled. 

Genesis took the opportunity to slam a piece of paper on his desk.”Do you know what this is?” He asked sternly. Sephiroth glanced down then suppressed a sigh. “How about I enlighten you?” It was a question, but Genesis gave him no time to respond. “It’s a new Loveless play that’s premiering today.” Sephiroth felt an oncoming headache. “Why didn’t you tell me? It’s been in production for three months!” 

“Believe it or not, Genesis, I actually have other things to do than survey every theater in Midgar and report back to you every time you’re out of town.” Sephiroth said as he put down his pen. This was probably going to take longer than he expected.

“I’ve been back for half a day and this poster literally hit me in my face as I was walking around. They put twenty of them on every bulletin board in Midgar!” 

Sephiroth knew about the play when the news about it first flooded the market, and he had dreaded this interaction with Genesis ever since he’d heard of it. 

“Anyway, it doesn’t matter! That’s not why I’m here.” Genesis waved his hand as if he could physically shove away the previous subject.

Sephiroth’s brow rose. “That’s not why you’re here?” Calling him surprised would be an understatement.

“Well, I am here because of the new Loveless play, sure.” Of course you are. “But I’m here for you specifically-”

“I’m not going. I can’t. I have too much work to do so-”

“Calm down I wasn’t going to ask you to come. Besides you and Angeal have no love for the finer things like art, I already knew that.” Sephiroth suppressed sighed in relief. “I need to ask you a small favor.” And Sephiroth definitely didn’t like where this was going. “The esteemed Professor Hojo just called me to help him locate an escaped specimen. Obviously I’m busy, I tried telling him that, but he ‘insisted’.” Genesis air quoted. He himself knew how the Professor could be when he ‘insists’ on something. “So I need you to take on the mission for me. You know how it goes. It escaped the Professor’s lab in sector four a few hours ago, so it couldn’t have gone far.”

Sephiroth furrowed his brows. “He gave you another mission so soon after your previous?” He picked up the paperstack on the corner of his desk and started rifling through. “I haven’t seen a formal requisition from him… “

“Yeah, I didn’t even get a written mission briefing. He just told me that I have to detain the specimen if possible, and if not, kill it. I’m pretty sure he’s trying to keep the whole thing on the down low, you know how he is.” Genesis huffed. “I told him it was grunt work and that I could assign a squad or even a few thirds to do it. Then he lectured me for ten minutes about the importance of his work and yadda, yadda.” He explained while rolling his eyes and waving his hand around.

Sephiroth sighed as he resigned himself to a day of grunt work. “How would you even get tickets this late, haven’t all the seats been sold out?”

Genesis threw him a slight condescending smirk. “Oh, please. They will find me a seat.”

With that, and a flourish of his coat, he left the room as fast as he appeared.

Sephiroth considered sending someone else for a few second before deciding against and just to get the whole ordeal over with. He put down his paperwork and headed out the door with Masamune in hand.

Sephiroth came to a halt as he arrived in front of the building in Sector 4. One of Professor Hojo’s 100-and-something labs located in Midgar. The entrance was surrounded by a few scientists talking to each other in hushed voices and two Soldier Thirds that’d been stationed as guards. One of the Soldiers, a man with the standard Soldier helmet on, walked over to him and gave him a salute. 

“General Sephiroth, sir, we have a small, ongoing situation at the moment, so the facility is unfortunately closed until further notice.”

“I’m here on behalf of Genesis.”

The man paused for a moment before quickly collecting himself again. “Sorry, sir. Please follow me.” The soldier lead him to the group of scientists speaking in hurried whispers. “General Sephiroth, this is Doctor Maya Novitski, head scientist in this laboratory.” He said as he gestured to a middle aged woman with black hair pulled into a night ponytail on the back of her head. She regarded Sephiroth with a scrunched up face and a look of confusion. 

“I thought Hojo was sending Commander Rhapsodos…?”

“Genesis appears to have prior engagements.”

Maya shook her head. They were apparently set on making this harder than it had to be. “No, we cannot let this mission fall on to you, General.” The people in white behind her seemed to freeze, looking at each other with furrowed brows and uncertain eyes. “This is merely tedious scut work. I’m sure you have better things to do. I’ll send in a formal requisition for someone else.” She said with a nod.

Normally Sephiroth would have let the matter go. Let Maya send in the formal requisition, and go back and finish up his paperwork. Maybe take a double lunch, call up Angeal to make fun of Genesis’ bizarre taste in entertainment. Even though Sephiroth knew it was out of character for him, but even he liked to kick back now and again. Just relax for an afternoon with nothing to do. He could see the shifty, half panicked look in Maya’s eyes. She was definitely hiding something and Sephiroth was inclined to find out exactly what.

“No. I’m already here. This won’t take long.” Sephiroth said assertively, not leaving room for arguments.

The Doctor let out a weak sigh. “...Ok, let me just get the Professor on the line then-” She said as she took out her PHS from her coat and started typing.

“I suggest you stop wasting both your time and my time, Doctor, and get to it.” He narrowed his eyes and gave her his infamous one-hit KO glare. Familiar to anyone prone to wasting his time with trivial questions or unimportant information. Basically it’s his go to look if he wants someone to shut up or leave him alone. Or in this case, both.

The Doctor paused for another moment, and Sephiroth almost thought she’d insist on calling Hojo again, before she cleared her throat and stood a bit straighter, regarding him with such a condescending look in her eyes, Sephiroth's sure she’d learned it from Hojo.

“Alright, I suppose it won’t hurt. Since you’re already here.” She hesitated for another second as she glanced behind her to one of the other scientist that was huddled with the crowd, giving her intense looks, as if he trying to convey something. What it is, Sephiroth’s not too sure of. But this mission has definitely peaked his interest.

“The subject was seen exiting the facility around 6:45 and has been spotted in the sector four slums half an hour ago.” 

“How did it get loose? I’m sure Hojo’s had safety measure set in the lab…” Sephiroth cocked his head, wanting to get as much information on the matter as possible before he set out. 

“...H- It overpowered one of the scientists on duty, and managed to slip out while the others were on break.” 

“Overpowered…?” Sephiroth glanced at the two soldiers awkwardly shifting in place. He didn’t know what to think of that, and by the look on Dr. Maya’s face, figured she wouldn’t give him more information on it anyway. “What does it look like?”

“It- uh, is probably naked, I don’t believe you can miss it.”

Well that certainly caught Sephiroth’s interest. Was he right to assume this ‘subject’ was a human? He raised his eyebrows a fraction of an inch, but the Doctor refused to elaborate. She only looked away and cleared her throat. 

“Well, if you do find hi- it, you either bring him back here, or, if you see fit… you’ll know what to do.”

Sephiroth nodded, he’d already heard that part from Genesis, but figured it concerned those monsters Hojo was so fond experimenting on, not… a human. He supposed it didn’t matter what kind of species it was, just why they were so adamant on keeping the subject away from Sephiroth. He’ll figure it out soon enough.

Sephiroth made his way down the sector 4 slums. He got a few looks, some of fear, some of awe. Sephiroth ignored them all. He was used to this after all.

As he made his way down he made sure to ask bystanders if they’d seen anything peculiar the last hour, most of the replies were negative, but Sephiroth suspected some of them were deliberately withholding information, knowing who Sephiroth is and undoubtedly pitying the person he was looking for. It appears that this mentality ran deep into the residents of the slums. Placing them, as a people, against any outsider. As if they were protecting one of their own. Sephiroth found it as fascinating as he did vexatious.

He was about to give up on his ‘friendly’ approach of the citizens and try a more direct one instead, when he overheard a curious conversation. 

“Mama, that girl was strange, I think she’s cold!” A small child looked up at their mother, whom had her hands full with a toddler wiggling around in her grip.

“I know, honey. Mama will go check on her later if she’s still there.”

“But what if she gets sick?” The child was having trouble keeping up with the mother’s long stride while looking up at her occasionally and also keeping his eyes on the road in front of him. “It’s really cold at night! Dad said that it’s warmer on top of the top plate because they get more sun, but I think-” 

Sephiroth stopped listening and made his way down the street the family had emerged from, making sure to check every alleyway on the way down. He was about to turn a corner when his eyes fell on a small shape standing in front of a street vendor.

“Ya’ gonna buy somethin’ o' what, girlie?” The vendor seemed annoyed at the shadow he’s food had acquired, but didn’t seem in a rush to shoo her away. “Ya’ looking a lill’ lightly dressed, ya’ know it’ll get real cold in a few, yeah? Ah think ya’ should head on home, maybe put on some shoes.” He said glancing at her feet.

The vendor continued trying to persuade the woman a few more times, but when he got no reaction he just sighed and went to help some other customers.

Sephiroth stepped up behind the woman, and observed her carefully. She seemed to be wearing a cape of sorts, her blond hair brushing past her shoulders everytime she moved her head to focus on something new the vendor was selling. Sephiroth’s eyes moved to her feet, and sure enough the bottom of her bare feet was caked with dirt, mud and even some blood mixed in. 

Sephiroth was sure this was the subject he was looking for. She must have found a sheet to use, the bottom of which was dripping water. She probably ‘borrowed’ it whilst it was hanging to dry out a window or something and used it to wrap herself in. A small puddle of water had already accumulated at her feet, she occasionally tapped one foot to splash in the puddle, seemingly subconsciously.

Sephiroth stepped up beside her, ignoring how the vendor and people around him turned rigid and gave him a wide berth. The girl didn’t notice and kept her eyes on the wares of the vendor. She was eyeing the mysterious grilled meat on a stick with particular intensity. She had a bit of a dazed look in her eyes, so Sephiroth concluded that is was best he left Masamune unsummoned for now. 

“What is your name?” He figured information of any kind wouldn’t be a loss, so he’ll start to question lightly, then work his way up.

Her eyes finally tore away from the mystery meats and landed on him.

Sephiroth’s breathing stopped as his eyes met endless blue, and he couldn’t stop his eyebrows from furrowing in confusion. He did manage to stop his right hand from finding its way to the back of his head where he felt a slight throbbing. Sephiroth tried to ask again but couldn’t find any words to say. He observed the blonde keenly to see if she had any materia equipped. Maybe she had cast confusion on him?

The blonde finally broke out of her deep daze and her eyes widened as she gazed into Sephiroth’s. She took a step towards him, then another. Her feet was unsteady as she walked, and Sephiroth, fearing she’d tumble head first into the ground, reached his arm out to steady her.

“Who are you?” Sephiroth asked again this time throwing in an seemingly ineffective glare.

“Me?” Sephiroth’s eyebrow quirked. Apparently he and everyone in the slums had been wrong. Although the appearance of the person in front of him was ambiguous, his voice was everything but. 

“Yes, do you have a name?” Sephiroth was aware that they’d gained quite a few spectators who think they’re being subtle, some of them whispering and looking disapprovingly in his direction.

“You mean- you don’t know me?” The blond asked with a small, hoarse voice and cocked his head to the side giving him a look of pure confusion. “I was so sure… so sure we…” 

Sephiroth narrowed his eyes. “So sure we what?” He felt his heart pick up it’s pace. Was he nervous? No that couldn’t be it. He wasn’t afraid. That was literally impossible. An irregular heartbeat was never good, he’d have to have it checked out.

“...Know each other… “ He gave him one last longing look, then went back to his dazen spectating of the mystery meats.

Sephiroth stood in disbelief for a few more seconds before he pulled himself together. “Do you have a home?” This could after all simply be a confused amnesiac taking an afternoon stroll in his neighborhood.

It took a few seconds before the blond spoke up again, Sephiroth was about to ask another question when he heard a weak. “Yes, I think I do.” Apparently he had been thinking about it. 

This was going to be a bit harder than he first assumed.

“Where?” Sephiroth suppressed a sigh.

The blond hummed “In the mountain… it’s very beautiful-” He glanced at Sephiroth and gave him a small, warm smile “Would you like to visit? I’m sure my mom woul-” He stopped in the middle of his sentence, then his face scrunched up in a grimace.

“Your mom would…?”

“I… don’t know.” He said, and left the matter entirely, as if it was too troublesome to even think about and, then focus on the meats again.

Sephiroth sighed, took out his wallet and placed some coins on the vendors booth. He was sure he placed a few too many, but he was in no mood to argue change. He picked up a stick of grilled meat and ignored the vendor who’d started sweating through his tick jacket. The blond’s eyes were glued to the meat in his hand, he suppressed a smirked and tried moving the food left and then right, the others blue eyes followed it like a cat waiting for its prey. As he handed the food over he didn’t expect the blond to take a small step back, as if afraid if he had stepped out of line by standing to close. He’d seen this kind of behaviour in new recruits he’d encountered in the Shinra halls, but rather than afraid of him, the blond seem to be afraid of the mystery meat (which is very warranted in Sephiroth’s opinion.)

“Take it.” Sephiroth almost flinched at how harsh his voice came out, but the blond didn’t even blink as he grabbed the stick from his hand. He paused, then looked up at Sephiroth expectantly. 

Neither of them spoke for a full minute. Sephiroth just observing the smaller blond, and the blond keeping his eyes on Sephiroth, unwavering. Sephiroth would commend the man had he not known that there was probably some psychological issues at play.

The blond opened his mouth to speak, then closed it, then opened it again. “Can I… eat this?”

Sephiroth paused, then blinked a few times. Definitely some psychological issues at play. “Yes you can go ahead.”

Without another word the blond started to chow down on the meat. He took big, sloppy bites and chewed with his mouth open, getting food all over his face in the process. Sephiroth is sure he’d seen five year olds with better eating habits than his. When he was finished he took to licking the residue off his fingers, then he handed the, now clean, wooden stick back to Sephiroth. He stared at the stick that was handed to him for a moment, then turned to the vendor who looked like he’d suffer a heart attack any minute now.

“Do you have a napkin?” If Genesis was here he’d snort in disdain at how the vendor flinches back and then dives into his stall to find what Sephiroth requested. He handed him a small once-upon-a-time-white cloth, he supposed that’d have to do for now. 

Sephiroth put his hand under the blonds chin, ignoring how the other froze in place at the touch, and started wiping away at his face. Then threw the cloth back into the vendors hands and uttered a thanks.

Sephiroth slowly turned halfway around and indicated the blond to follow him. To his surprise, the blond that’d been so good at following orders up till now, stood his ground.

“Come.” He had never been good at talking to people, both Genesis and Angeal could attest to that.

The blond let out a small breath. “No, I can’t.” He said determinedly.

“Why not?”

“I’m waiting for… someone.” Sephiroth heard the weavering in his voice, and decided he’d let this little thing play out as far as he should.

“You’re waiting for me. I’ve come to pick you up.”

The blonds blue eyes narrowed as he scrutinized Sephiroth's’ face, presumably looking for something. Apparently he found it because the next moment he was all smiles as he caught up with Sephiroth. 

They started walking up towards the transit to the surface and had been walking for a while when the blond suddenly stopped up, one hand caressing his stomach whilst the other held the sheet tightly around his body, his knuckles turned white.

“What’s wrong?” He asked as he observed the uneasy look on the others face. Suddenly the blond turned a corner and walked into a small alleyway, for one terrifying moment Sephiroth thought the blond would run, and he’d have to cut him down. Luckily (for him) the blond only crouched down and started emptying his stomach on the ground next to a few garbage bags. He suppose mystery meats will do that to you. Sephiroth walked up to him and stood beside him has he started dry heaving. He considered patting the other’s back for a moment in consolation, but decided against it, when he remembered his last reaction when he was touched.

The other finally stood up, looking to be deep in another daze. There was a bit of residue on the side of his lips. Sephiroth picked up one side of the sheet around the end and wiped his face clean. The other recovered out of his trance and gave Sephiroth a smile. Sephiroth nodded back, and they started on their way again.

Once they were above the plate the blond started slowing down his stride, he had instead occupied himself with looking at the blue sky above head. Sephiroth had a stray thought of how the blond’s eyes matched the sky to a fault.

They continued walking at the slower pace. Sephiroth in the front, ever so often glancing back to see if the blond is following him and not walking into oncoming traffic or something. They were approximately a block away from their destination when the smaller man suddenly spoke up. 

“Was it everything you dreamt it would be?” He glanced away from the sky and gave Sephiroth a warm, dazed smile when their eyes met. And Sephiroth couldn’t help a small feeling of helplessness arize in his hearth, as if he’d forgotten something of immense importance.

He didn’t answer, instead he turned around, ignored both the blond and the sudden lump in his throat and quickened his pace.

When they finally did arrive Sephiroth just wanted to deliver the ‘specimen’ to the Doctor, go home, and forget the meeting ever happened. Unfortunately he had no such luck, he let out a small curse in his mind at the sight of Professor Hojo waiting by the entrance of his lab together with the small entourage in white lab coats and the two Soldiers waiting for them.

Hojo’s eyes narrowed when they met Sephiroth’s and then narrowed further when they landed on the man behind him busy gazing at the blue sky above him.

“Come now Subject C, you’ve had your fun. Time to go back.” Sephiroth noticed and ignored how the two soldiers froze at the Professor's name calling. Apparently not expecting the infamous ‘subject’ of today's disaster to be a human, and much less such a harmless looking young man as well.

“...Fun?” The man cocked his head as he focused in on the sneering Professor in front of them.

“Yes, you’ve caused a lot of trouble. Now, come here.” Sephiroth, who was accustomed to Hojo, could feel the coldness in his voice as he spoke to the blond. He resisted a shudder, and turned to look at the young man behind him. His eyes seemed to be dimmer than before, no longer a perfect match to the oh-so blue sky above them anymore.

At this point Sephiroth just wanted to wash his hands of the whole ordeal, go home and try to deal with the lump in his throat with some warm tea, maybe get a head start on next week's paperwork. 

“Go.” He delivered the line with the same harsh voice as he did by the vendor, but this time the blond did flinch. He took a small step back and glanched between sephiroth, and Hojo a few times before nodding with that dazed look in his eyes. He walked over to Hojo, who immediately handed him over to Dr. Maya. 

“Get him hooked up again at once, and monitor him, properly this time.” Professor Hojo hissed through his teeth. He paused when his eyes landed on the blond’s feet, and he scoffed in disgust. “Get him in a shower first!” 

Sephiroth looked at the retreating back of the blond, he looked so small, like a child that’d been reprimanded.

The lump in Sephiroth’s throat grew, and his hearth once again picked up speed, almost hurting him to the point of winching from the pain.

“I don’t remember asking for you on this assignment.” Sephiroth was about to give the same explanation he did the others, his eyes never leaving the small retreating back. “Well, I suppose it matters not now that you got the job done.” If Sephiroth knew Hojo as well as he thinks he does (and Sephiroth believes that’s a hard yes) The Professor wasn’t nearly close to done with scolding him as if he was a child.

So instead Sephiroth cut him off. “Who is that? What’s his name?” 

“Its name is Subject C. And who he is is none of your concern.” Sephiroth almost scoffed in his face.

Instead he calmed his temper and answered, “Very well.” before turning his heel and leaving for Shinra and his paperwork.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apperantly writing genesis is quiet fun, who would have thought... though i have to warn you guys, i havent seen or played Crisis core so this is pretty much me writing blind. like i have a understanding of the character to a certain extant, but when it comes to canon ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ so no loveless quotes

“Oh, wow. You are looking more and more like shit everytime I see you.”

Genesis said as he walked up to the other man sitting on the couch with a spread of different files and papers strewn across the coffee table in front of him. The silver haired man paused the tea cup that was on its way to his mouth and gave him one of his wry not-quiet-smiles, before continuing on.

“Are you _really_ working on your break?”

“It’s called being dedicated.” Came a slight hoarse voice in reply behind the cup.

“No, it’s called being a workaholic.” Genesis took the initiative and sat down across from the other man. “So,” Genesis tilted his head as he carefully regarded the General. “You wanna come out for drinks with me and Angeal?” He smiled. “We’re going to that one bar you like, the quiet one.”

That made Sephiroth glance up from the file he was in the middle of reading. “He’s not supposed to be back for another three days.” He asked, slash, stated with a small tilt of one elegant eyebrow.

“Yeah, well, apparently he finished up early.”

“Mn,” Was the only response he got from the silver haired general.

“Come on, Seph, You’ve been cooped up in your office for three weeks!” Genesis leaned forward, his bodily enthusiasm matching his words. “You won’t even spar with me! Which, you know, the audacity, and all that-” He said as he waved his hand in front of his face.

“Unfortunately,” Sephiroth started with a drawl. “I will be unable to join you today.” He finished shortly and went back to reading the file in his hand.

“Oh, please, you could easily take a break from…” Genesis glanced down at the files, then up at Sephiroth, then down at the files again. “What’s this?” He picked up the the closest paper to him and started reading it. “Are you searching for someone? Why are you looking up names of everyone that’s joined Soldier the past,” He picked up the whole stack of papers and quickly flipped through them. “Ten years?”

“...There was a discrepancy in one of the reports I got back, so I’m just looking through these files to get it corrected.”

“Uh-uh.” And if that wasn’t the biggest lie Genesis had heard in his lifetime, he didn’t know what was. Genesis put down the papers and leaned back into the couch.

They sat there for a while. Sephiroth reading his files and Genesis deep in thought. After a few more minutes Genesis finally got up with his signature flourish he’d claimed as his own, and headed for the door, “If you change your mind you’ll know where we’ll be.”

“Hn.” Sephiroth answered but didn’t take his eyes away from the mess of paper on the table.

Genesis sighed as he made his way down the tower and out towards their bar in sector 1. He went into the building, waved at the owner and claimed their regular boot in the back. There were a few people littered in seats across the place, but coupled with the dim light no one gave him a second glance when he walked by.

He tapped his fingers on the table a few times in sync with his tapping foot under the table, then quickly stood up and headed towards the bar. He figured he might as well get a few drinks in before Angeal showed up. Unfortunately for him Angeal had always had an efficiency to him, so halfway through his first drink the other First showed up.

“Took you long enough.” He said through the glass at his mouth.

Angeal just gave him a smile and slid into the opposite seat “I’m thirty minutes early.”

Genesis stood up and chugged the rest of his drink. “You want anything?” 

“The usual.”

Genesis nodded.

“Sephiroth didn’t come?” Was the first thing Angeal said when he returned with two big glasses of beers, “That’s not like him.”

“Yeah, well, he’s not been like himself for a while now.” Genesis took a small sip before continuing. “He’s been working like crazy. I mean he’s always been a workaholic to an extend, but I’m not sure he even stops to eat some days. Everytime I ask him out for lunch or dinner he refuses, says he has too much work to do…” Genesis furrowed his brows, the General had indeed been exceptionally strange lately.

“I see, so that’s what you wanted to talk about…” Angeal said with a slight frown gracing his face. “Do you know what-”

“Wait, hold on.” Genesis put his glass down and gave him a perplexed look. “That’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.” 

Angeal’s eyebrows rose. “Then what? You said it was something of ‘great importance’,” Angeal quoted him with a smirk and a hint of mocking in his voice, Genesis decided to let it slide, for now. “What’s going on that could possibly be more important than this?”

Genesis closed his eyes and let out a deep, long-winded sigh before he opened his them again. Angeal had concern, which became more and more palpable by the second, written all over his face.

“What? What’s going on? Genesis, you’re worrying me.” Genesis could see that Angeal was this close to pulling out his PHS and giving Sephiroth the obligatory once-a-month Moma Chocobo call, so he waited a few more seconds to let the concern really seep in.

“So… I saw Loveless: A New Horizon,” He slowly started with a sigh. “You know? The new play I told you about- And I gotta say it has made me look at everything in the book from a new perspective. I mean other than the fact that the actor playing the Hero managed to butcher some of his lines, and also some irregularities from the book, the play was so spectacular. I’d even go as far as say it left me breathless by the end. It is without a doubt one of my top ten favorite adaptations of the sto -”

“What’s wrong with you?! Dear Gaia! You almost gave my a heart attack!” Angeal clutched at his uniform right above his heart, his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth agape.

“Impossible” Genesis retorted, taking another sip of his drink.

“ _This_ is what you wanted to talk about?” Angeal continued his not at all warranted scolding. “You had me prematurely end my mission!”

“Yeah, well, Sephiroth's been hauled in his office twenty four seven!” Genesis yelled back. “I saw the play almost three weeks ago, and I haven’t had anyone to talk to about it! Do you realize how frustrating that is?”

“I’m starting to realize, yeah.” Angeal put his head in his hands and leaned against the table.

“You’re such a drama queen.” Genesis snorted.

Angeal pulled his head out of his hands so fast Genesis’ surprised he didn’t get a whiplash. The other man opened his mouth, an argument no doubt at the tip of his tongue, but apparently decided against it. Good. “You know what? Never mind.” The raven haired sighed, picked up his drink and gulped down a few mouthfuls. “You sure this isn’t something we should be worried about?” He huffed. 

“Uh, yeah… I mean the play was good, but not _that_ groundbreaking.”

“I’m talking about Sephiroth, Genesis.” Angeal said with a droll and endless patience.

Genesis just sighed. He suppose he’d have to save the Loveless discussion for another time, thanks to Sephiroth’s sudden and unexplainable mid-life crisis. “Yeah, except the fact that he’s somehow turned even more emotionless, I doubt it’s something to be worried about, probably just a phase.” He gave the other man a light smirk. “You know how kids can be.”

“He’s not a child, he’s perfectly capable of controlling his emotions.”

“Repress, you mean.”

“Nevertheless, I’m worried about him.” Angeal hummed. 

“Ugh, fine,” He put down his glass with a speedy sweep of his hand.”Let’s go talk to him.” He stood up, then paused for a second. “Hold on.”

Genesis went up to the bar once more with Angeal following close behind. He then proceeded to order two shots, the ones especially produced for Soldier biology. He ignored the incredulous look he got from Angeal, and promptly downed both of them when they were placed in front of him.

“Is that really necessary?”

“Absolutely.” He said in between shots.

Angeal let out a sigh bordering on a scoff and continued out of the shop with Genesis not far behind.

They made their way towards the tower and up the elevator. Genesis carefully keeping up with the taller man’s long, hurried stride. 

“Will you slow down?” He whined. “He’s not going anywhere, you’re not short on time.”

Angeal just ignored him and slightly quickened his pace, probably in retaliation for what Genesis did at the bar. He almost rolled his eyes at the other man’s childishness, but decided it was perfect material for teasing so he resisted pestering him about it for now. 

They reached Sephiroth’s office, and Angeal placed two rapid knocks on the door before pushing it open without waiting for a reply, as is like him. Which should get him as much shit as Genesis get’s for his no knocking when irritated, angry or excited policy. But apparently two knocks one second before you enter anyway is a completely okay thing to do.

Angeal froze on his way in the door, and Genesis who was accustomed to his fast pace and hurried stride, bumped into his shoulder with his face.

He was about to sarcastically rebuke Angeal’s walking skill, while not so subtly rubbing at his, now red, nose, when he too froze at the sight of the General brandishing Masamune and full on tactical gear as if he was about to be shipped out to the Wutai wastes.

“You being sent out on a mission?” Angeal asked what Genesis thought.

Sephiroth turned around and gave them that look where he’s so obviously suppressing a sigh.

“...Yes. I just got a mission sent down from the director. I’m shipping out immediately.”

Genesis was about to reply with a snide comment of how workaholics die early or something, when the thought was abruptly cut off. 

“Is that... blood on your coat?” 

Sephiroth, the ever so composed man he was, merely glanced down at his coat, located the stain and answered. “Yes.”

“Gaia below, Sephiroth- What’s going on with you lately?” Angeal questioned.

Sephiroth lightly tilted his head to the side quizzically, his long hair following the movement and falling past his shoulder. 

“Oh, don't give us that look. You know very well what he's talking about.” Genesis stated as he stepped past Angeal, you couldn't be menacing while in the shadow of a man half a head taller than you. Not that Sephiroth would ever be menaced by him. To be totally honest was mostly Genesis’ ego that couldn’t stand him not being in the forefront of every argument. Not that he’d ever willingly admit to it.

“You haven’t been out of your office for days, and when I tried talking to you about it you keep spacing out.” Angeal looked at him, brows knitted at the new information. “So? Out with it! What’s bothering you so much you can’t even confide in your friends?”

Sephiroth quietly glancet between the two, his face showing not the slightest hint of emotion.

“I mean, seriously, If I didn’t know you any better I’d be worried about your state of mind.” Genesis resisted a pout, (...he might be a bit tipsy) Instead he put his hands on his hips.

Sephiroth let out a small huf of air in defeat and relaxed his stance. “I’ve been having these… visions lately.”

“Ok, I’m officially worried about your state of mind-” 

Angeal quickly stepped up next to Genesis and put up his hands as if to placate them. “What he means to say, Sephiroth,” He gave Genesis a strict glare. “Is that you can talk to us anytime you need, you know that right?”

“Genesis.” Sephiroth turned his penetrating gaze at him, and Genesis staggered slightly, (ok, maybe he was drunk after all) “Do you remember the impromptu mission the Professor asked you to do?”

“The one at the time of the Loveless play?” He raised an auburn eyebrow. “Yeah, what about it?”

“The... specimen I was told to track down.” He paused, as if remembering something. “I believe that I know him…”

“Oh…” And for the first time ever Genesis didn’t know how to reply. “Did- did you kill it?”

“Him.” Sephiroth quickly corrected. “It’s a person.” He said sternly.

“Right...”

“Hold on. What exactly is it that's going on?” Angeal, bless him, broke the awkward silence caused by the exchange.

Sephiroth sighed for a second time since they entered the office (undoubtedly a new record) and unsummoned Masamune before he (somehow) gracefully flopped down on the side couch. He leaned his elbows on his knees and brought his hands together as he looked up at Angeal and started explaining.

“About three weeks ago I stepped in for Genesis on a mission given to him by Hojo. A track and retrieve of an escaped specimen- When I got there the people stationed there where, for lack of a better term, secretive. As if they didn’t want me, specifically, on the mission. I had to insist to get them to agree, and even then they were reluctant.” Sephiroth’s eyebrows furrowed. “Then I found the- subject-” He spit out bitterly. “-I had this… foreboding feeling, like I knew him.” Sephiroth was never good at, well, feeling stuff, let alone describe what he felt, so both Genesis and Angeal raised their eyebrows in surprise at those words. 

“He was confused, and didn’t seem to remember much of anything… but I think he remembered me.” Another pause. “When I got back I started getting these,” He waved his hand by his head. “Memories, I think they are. Fragments of memories of when I was young. I-” Sephiroth cut himself off, then cleared his throat. “I’ve been looking for people that matches his description, people that’s gone mission or KIA, going as far as 30 years back- but…” He fell silent. So that’s what he’d been researching earlier today.

“So? _Did_ you kill him…?” Genesis asked, a slight frown grasing his face.

Sephiroth dropped his head, and clenched his hands together til they turned white. “...I handed him over to Hojo and left.” He answered weakly.

There was a lull in the conversation and the atmosphere in the room seemed to thicken. Genesis swallowed as quietly as he could. He’d never seen Sephiroth like this before, so- defenseless. Normally he would relish at the thought, the great General Sephiroth, Hero of Wutai, looking so vulnerable. But today the only feeling accompanied that revelation was oddly enough dread.

Angeal walked over to the General and sat down next to him, putting a warm and comforting hand on his shoulder. “Did you know him well...?”

Sephiroth looked up, the same emotionless mask on his face as before. Genesis felt a lump forming in his stomach. He really didn’t like this version of Sephiroth.

The silver haired man stood up. “I don’t know. I don’t remember.” He shook his head. “I think he was looking after me. He was… kind.” He said as his eyes turned a bit foggy.

“And?” Genesis huffed loudly after a few seconds of silence. If no one wanted to break the tension he’d gladly do it. He was too drunk to let it continue be this depressing. “What are you going to do about it?” He sat down next to Angeal and crossed his legs in an (he hoped) elegant fashion, (but looking at the amused smile the man next to him was giving him, he appears to have failed miserably.) “I hope your plan isn’t to sit around and mope for another three weeks!” Only after he finished talking did he realize he had shouted the last part. Angeal placed his head in his hand. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately.

At least it seemed to have made Sephiroth fall back to a semblance of normalcy as he replied back monotonously rather than the half dead drone he’d been donning. “I already did something about it.” And Genesis could almost _taste_ the eye roll he was suppressing. “I went down to Hojo’s lab in sector four and tried to find him.” A dark look passed his face. “They transferred him two weeks ago…”

“Oh, Seph, I’m so sorry… Maybe we can find some records about his transfer?” Angeal turned to him. “There’s bound to be some documents telling us where he went, right?”

“Why’re you asking me?” He asked, confused. He was probably the last person to ask questions like that to. Angeal closed his eyes, likely trying to find a last shred of patience for him. “Beside a paper trail is too unreliable, Hojo could and would undoubtedly fake that. In my opinion we get the information straight from the horse's mouth.” He grinned at the prospect of threatening Hojo’s creepy underlings. 

“You can’t just go around threatening people, Genesis…” Angeal sighed and ignored his quiet ‘why not?’. “We need someone that has access to information like this, someone we can trust… Which is gonna be hard because the only ones who do have access to this kind of information is high level Turk officials-”

“Actually-” Sephiroth cut him off with a slight hesitant look. “I already have the information.”

Well that’s a pleasant surprise. “Really? How did you get it?” Angeal asked softly, as if someone could overhear their conversation if he was to loud.

“I threatened people.” He casually stated.

Angeal’s jaw fell agape and Genesis was doing a bad job of concealing the laughter coming out his mouth. The raven haired just sighed and got up.

“So this ‘mission you’re going to-?” 

“I’m going to get him.” Sephiroth confirmed

Genesis followed suit and stood up as well. “Well, I suppose I could tag along. I’m not set up for a mission for a while, so I have the time-” He paused. “At least I think I’m not… Either way, I’m always in the mood for some treason.”

“Gaia below.” Angeal turned to him. “Please refrain from saying that as if you’re proud of the fact.”

“You’re both coming?” Sephiroth raised two eyebrows that’d been chiseled to perfection. Ugh, what an asshole.

Angeal let out a deep breath and followed up with a small smile. “I suppose I could go for some treason this evening.”

“That’s more like it, big guy.” Genesis clapped him on the back a few times then avoided the glare thrown at him. “So, where’s the guy now?”

Sephiroth eyed them.

“Nibelheim.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Commercial voice* this chapter is featured by drunk!Genesis, because if you think Sephiroth can't handle talking about emotions you havent ment Genesis yet!
> 
> also I just finished a huge project thats been hanging over my head for a while so ill be updating more frequently ;)
> 
> please leave a comment of what you thought!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: garphic description of scars

“Please tell me you at least know where he the lab is.” Genesis scrunched up his face in an ugly grimace, no doubt donning a massive headache after showing up drunk at his office the previous evening. Sephiroth had no sympathy for the other man. He had suffered the consequences of drinking multiple times, and yet chose to indulge himself. 

“I don’t know.” Sephiroth replied, his gaze never leaving the scenery passing them by in a haze. 

“You really didn’t think to ask where it was when you were threatening information out of a bunch of interns?”

“They weren’t interns.” These weren't some innocent children who didn’t know what they were doing. “And no, I figured I couldn’t miss it once I had a look around.” Before Genesis managed to scoff Angeal sounded out from the front.

“Nebelheim is a small village, I’m sure we’ll have no trouble finding a Shinra lab if we ask around.” He pitched in from the driverseat of the jeep.

They’d taken the first car they’d seen in the garage of the Shinra tower. Unable to requisition a driver, and they were certainly not going to drag the Turks into this just for a helicopter ride. So they settled on driving to Nibelheim.

They had somehow managed to avoid the official roads where Shinra had people stationed to toll anyone driving in and out of the city, no doubt keeping a record in the process. They took the ferry across the ocean. And easely drove past Costa Del Sol, though not without having to stop for gas. Luckily no one seemed to recognise them (or cared enough to make a grand debacle of it.) Unlike the citizens on the upper plate of Midgar it appears people around here has something other than celebrity gossip to focus their energy on.

“Ugh, and who’s idea was it to not stop for water and food?” Genesis placed his hand in front of his eyes and asked in a muffled voice.

“We unanimously voted against a pit stop.” 

“Maybe next time don’t vote on that while I’m asleep?” Sephiroth could hear irritation coating the redhead’s voice, but couldn’t see his face through his hands that were simultaneously covering him from the light and massaging his temples.

Angeal let out a huffed laugh. “We’re gonna be there soon- Just hold on for 15 more minutes.”

“Ugh.” Was his only reply. Sephiroth suspected it was the only he could manage without considerably worsening his hangover. 

The only benefit from a drunk Genesis is the fact that his argumentative side is cut down about 50%. Though Sephiroth isn’t sure how much of a win it is, seeing as how he had to spend the whole process in a cramped car with him. 

The car finally quieted down enough for him to try to remember more of the blond who’d looked after him as a child and their brief meeting years later. Since he… left the man in Hojo’s care, he’d gotten flashes of some of the memories. Sometimes he remembers a warm smile and kind eyes. But mostly he remember feeling safe in the other man's presence, like, as long as he was by his side nothing bad could happen to him. 

Of course Sephiroth realizes this probably was nothing more than a child’s ungrounded admiration. But he still couldn’t help himself from remembering the blond’s small back as Sephiroth had deliberately let him slip through his fingers. The thought made his throat tighten and he had to clench his teeth to not let the emotion of absolute despair show on his face.

He first thought had been mixing memories, new with old ones. Maybe because the specimen hojo was looking for was human he couldn't treat it like the throwaway fact he first figured it was.

But then he’d remember a kind voice speaking to him, or a big hand on his back, thoroughly warming him up after being cold for so long, and he’d forget all about his speculations.

He focused his eyes back on the scenery, and tried desperately not to think about it. Once he had the other man back by his side he’d make sure to tighten his hold on him so he couldn’t slip away a second time.

“So, hey, I know this sounds crazy, but I really do hope you have a plan.” The sarcasm in the redhead's voice was hard to miss.

Sephiroth chose to ignore him. He could barely deal with the other man when he was sober. Throw in irritable, sarcastic and bratty, and you’d have a full set of things to keep away from Sephiroth at all times.

“I’m with Genesis on this-” Sephiroth lightly turned his head to the man beside him, waiting for him to continue. “Have you at all though about what you’re going to do once you find him?”

Sephiroth had. But to be fair Genesis and Angeal’s worry was warranted because his plan mostly consist of one; get the blond back and two; cut down anyone trying to stop him.

Angeal must have read him like an open book because he put one hand on his shoulder and gave him a reassuring smile. “Whatever you decide on, we’re with you.”

Sephiroth gave him a smile in gratitude.

The car pulled into a small dirt road, which they definitely would have missed had there not been a sign on the side that read ‘NIBELHEIM’ in big white letters.

“Ok, first thing, I suggest we find the inn in this village and rent a room. We don’t know how long we’ll be here, it’s getting late and I don’t want to end up sleeping in the car tonight.” Angeal said as he got out of the car and headed towards the cluster of houses.

“I concur.” Genesis replied with a grunt.

Sephiroth nodded.

They knocked on a few doors as they made their way down, most of them took a quick glance out the window, then decided to pretend not to be home. Sephiroth could feel Genesis’ agitation reach its peak when the third house decided they weren’t home. Sephiroth thought about placating the other man, but ultimately decided against it. He was also in a rush and if he’d have to threaten information out of people (again) he’d do it.

When they finally found someone that were willing to talk to them, it was not what they were expecting, or rather, not what Sephiroth expected.

He froze in place as he laid his eyes on the familiar blue color. 

A woman, with meek wrinkles lining her face and a few gray streaks running through her otherwise blond hair, stood before them at about two heads shorter than Sephiroth. She had eyes with a slight sheen to them and heavy bags hanging under. She looked tired, the kind of tired that didn’t go away with 8 hours of sleep. He deduced she’d have to be about 50 or so years old.

She stood frozen in the doorway. Her eyes moving from Angeal to Genesis then finally landing on Sephiroth. Her meek face contorted into one filled with rage.

“You people are Shinra?” 

Sephiroth promptly cut off the barrage of demands of answers that was at the tip of his tongue. He swallowed once then turned to answer.

Only to be cut off by Angeal this time. “Yes, sorry to bother you ma’am, but we were wondering if you happened to know where the inn in this village is located?” His voice was nothing but polite as always.

But the woman continued to glare at them. “What are you doing here?” She hissed in a low voice. As if their being here was a dirty secret.

Sephiroth could see Genesis raise his brows in surprise. Angeal on the other hand didn’t miss a beat. “We’re here on a routine reactor check on behalf of Shinra.” 

“Well, I suggest you be quick about it. Shinra has caused enough trouble in this village.” She sneered and want to slam the door in their face.

Genesis was about to step forward, his stance the same as when he tells people off. Sephiroth took hold of the other man's upper arm to stop him in his tracks. He let the door close and lead the redhead in front of him as he walked further into the village.

“Seph?” Angeal asked while keeping up.

“They look alike.” He had to huff out with a breath because normal words wouldn’t leave his mouth for some reason.

Genesis gave him a confused look as he walked in front of them.

“She looks like- I suppose it’d be him that looks like her…” Sephiroth continued once he got his breath back

“The man we’re looking for?”

Sephiroth quietly nodded and turned to his thoughts. No wonder she seemed furious once she found out who they were. Losing a family member couldn’t have been easy for her. But no matter how hostile she acted they’d have to question her again, there was no doubt that she’d be the one to know the most on Shinra in this village.

They eventually found the inn, through luck said Angeal, Genesis answered that it was merely through a process of elimination. Sephiroth agreed. They then proceeded to rent three rooms, one for each because Genesis ‘would rather run himself trough with Masamune than listen to Angeal’s snoring ever again’. Angeal looked sheepish then swiftly agreed. 

Sephiroth had been alone for all of 3 minutes before Genesis speedily barged into his room an apologetic Angeal following behind. 

“Genesis-”

“Yes, yes, the knocking. I remember.” He said as he picked up the chair in the corner of the room and briskly sat down. “But under current circumstances I feel my barging is warranted.”

Sephiroth suppressed a sigh.

Angeal followed suit and sat down at the edge of the bed. “So that woman must be a relative…”

Sephiroth leaned against the closest wall and nodded. “Yes, she’d have to be with such a close resemblance.”

“...Maybe this at least solves the problem of where he can stay-?”

“That can impossibly be safe.” Genesis scoffed. And Sephiroth found himself agreeing with him a second time in one day. What’s his world come to.

“If the man disappears from the Nibelheim lab this village will probably be the first place they’ll search.” He continued.

There was a silence sweeping the room before Angeal spoke again. “Have you at least thought about what’s gonna happen once we find him?” 

Sephiroth’s original plan was to bring him with him to Midgar, maybe rent a room in a discreet hotel in the slums until further notice. Though he figured it couldn’t be healthy to leave him to his own devices considering he’d found the blond man having a staring contest with a piece of grilled street meat the last time he’d seen him.

So basically that left him with only one choice. The only people Sephiroth currently trusted was Angeal and Genesis, and since they’re basically in the same boat as Sephiroth they can’t help in the matter more than they currently are. So he can’t ask anybody else to look out for the blond, it will have to be him. He would have to somehow sneak the man into his apartment without anyone noticing. It wouldn’t be easy, but it’s doable.

The problem was whether or not the infamously-always-informed Turks are surveying his apartment. He’d never actually cared about the fact, Sephiroth had always been loyal to Shinra to a fault. He believed he had no valuable information to ‘accidentally’ convey. But at the end of the day the Turks are an organisation of spies, so some information was always better than none. And Sephiroth was currently bordering on the very fine line of treason… He supposed he’d at least be able to protect the blond better if worse came to worse.

“He’s coming with me to Midgar.” He finally stated firmly.

Genesis put his face in the crook of his arm and leaned back into the chair. Sephiroth deduced it meant he disagreed with his decision. Angeal only glanced to the floor as if deep in thought, no doubt trying to find a better solution for his problem. Helpfulness really was in nature.

“What about his family?” Genesis questioned from behind his elbow. “I’m sure she’d love to seem her whatever again.” He sat up straight and glanced between Angeal and him.

“When I last met him he looked so confused and he could barely walk straight. I’m pretty sure he’d been standing still in the same spot for at least an hour before I found him.” He slowly started. “He couldn’t even remember his own name or where he lived.”

“Still, you can’t just go around kidnapping people like that.” Genesis raised an eyebrow at him.

“I’m not,” Sephiroth sighed. “Kidnapping him…” Sephiroth clenched his hand. “I just want him to be safe as he recuperates. Maybe, after he’s well again, his memory will get better. Maybe he’ll start remembering m- his life.” Sephiroth cursed himself in his mind at his slipup.

“Ok, so it’s decided, the- guy’ll come with us to Midgar.” He gave Sephiroth an assured smiled.

“Right, then I suggest we get to a more prominent matter at hand.”

“Hojo’s lab.” Angeal stated with a serious look.

“No. Loveless: A New Horizon, I really feel-”

“Genesis!” Angeal scolded at the other man.

“Joke! It’s a joke, calm down.” Genesis quickly said. “Just wanted to lighten the mood, jeez.” He put his hands in front of him in surrender.

Sephiroth’s frankly astounded that he managed to avoid the discussing the theater play with the other man for so long. He had quietly been counting his days. And he’s certainly very grateful for Angeal’s hard earned skill of managing to shove away the subject everytime Genesis feel it necessary to fill the void of the silence with headless blathering.

“We should question the woman we met.” Sephiroth swiftly moved the discussion forward.

“You really think she’s willing to give us information?”

“I’m willing to try.” He replied grimly.

“Though I agree with you, It’s already quite late. We should probably wait until tomorrow to ask for answers.”

Genesis hopped up from his chair with grance earned through years of practice. “Great, I’m off to get me some much earned sleep. See you in a few.” Angeal gave Sephiroth a small smile before soundlessly closing the door behind him.

Sephiroth let out a small breath as he prepared for bed. Taking off his coat and belts to hang on the back of the chair Genesis had recently vacated. He was about to lay down in bed when he heard a slight movement beyond his window. He promptly got up, summoned Masamune and lept out the window all in a swift motion. He quickly located the person, that’d no doubt just arrived to spy on him, and brought the business end of his sword to their throat. 

The person fell to the ground with a loud yelp. A very high pitched one… Sephiroth unsummoned Masamune and took a good look down at the perpetrator.

“Woah, that was so cool! Was that magic?” The high shrill voice, belonging to a young girl around the age of 10 years old, asked. 

The young girl had short black hair reaching just above her shoulders, her brown eyes twinkling with wonder, not at all seeming to care that the sharpest object known to mankind was inches away from piercing her throat. The girl was shook out of her awe when she realized Sephiroth wouldn’t answer her question anytime soon. She got up to her feet and brushed her clothes until a small dust cloud appeared.

“Say, you’re that famous guy that works as a Soldier, right?” She questioned him as if she actually expected him to answer. 

“What’re you doing here anyway, dad said you’re here to finally tear down the haunted house. Is that true?” She tilted her head and continued to stare fearlessly into his eyes. “Usually I like exploring creepy places like that, but that house is way too scary. So it’s about time you took it down if you ask me.” She took a pause to breath and continued to speak at a speed even Angeal’s puppy probably would admire.

“My friend Lila said her brother once walked inside on a dare and he keeps swearing he saw a ghost. But Lila says he lies all the time so I don’t know what to believe.” The girl looked genuinely confused as if the conundrum made her head hurt. “Then again most of the adults say that he only saw a monster that had taken residence in the house through the winter.” She drawled as if she’s repeating something off a script.”Well everyone except for Mrs. Strife, she insists the whole darn place is cursed and will kill anyone who enters it. People say she’s crazy, but dad said that she lost her son in that house so I shouldn't say bad things about her.” 

Sephiroth was about to walk away from the girl. Jump into the window and firmly close it so to not hear the girl’s almost incoherent rambling. But stopped the second he heard the latest sentence frivolously falling out of her mouth.

“Anyways if you need a guide in the house I can show you around-” She paused and slightly shrunk back when she noticed Sephiroth’s cold eyes locking onto her’s.

“Strife. The woman with blond hair?” He slowly questioned. Going for as menacing as possible so the girl wouldn’t get side tracked like she’s apparently very prone to. But It didn’t seemed to have worked. 

“There are a lot of blond women in Nibelheim!” Unfortunately she quickly recovered from her fear of Sephiroth and started listing off different names of ‘blond women’ in the village, names just continually falling out of her mouth like a waterfall. “Oh, and there’s also Agnes, but she’s seven so I don’t think she counts as a woman yet-”

“The woman in the house near the forest.” He said with a slight hiss as he stepped closer to the child.

“O-oh, that woman.” She stuttered. “Yes, that’s Mrs. Strife…” She looked around as if just now realizing she’d been goating a dangerous person without any witnesses around.

Sephiroth decided to let up on the intensity, in case the girl decided to run away, he couldn’t very well set to chase after her like some madman. He took a step back and continued. “She had a son.” He stated, indicating for the child to continue.

The girl apparently didn’t get his subtle hint like the Soldiers under his command had learned to do. She only stood there and stared up at him with big eyes. Sephiroth suppressed a sigh and pushed down his frustration. 

“Would you mind sharing what you know of the boy?”

“The boy? You mean Mrs. Strife’s son? I only know that he died a long time ago and that Mrs. Strife turned crazy- I mean, got really sad after he was gone.” She quickly corrected herself with furrowed brows.

He nodded and turned to leave. He had all the information he needed. There was a sligh connection to… Strife and the mansion at the edge of the village so that’d be the first place they need to search. There was no need to stay the night if they found what they wanted in the mansion, and if they didn’t, they already had a backup plan concerning Mrs. Strife.

He leaped into the window without looking back at the girl, closed it then locked it just to be safe. Taking his coat and belts in hand and put them on as he made his way to his fellow   
First’s rooms to wake them up. 

The process of waking them both up, getting them out of bed and out in the village was shorter than he’d expected, which he would be grateful for had it not been for Genesis’ constant whining.

“What do you mean you got some new information to look into? Did you go out to threaten people again? You know that’s gonna get you in trouble sooner or later.” Genesis squinted his eyes as he brushed his hair away from his face with his fingers.

“Sephiroth are you sure about this? Who was the informant.” Angeal asked as he straightened his clothes and sword.

Sephiroth ignored them both as he continued leading the way out of the village. They shared a perplexed look before shrugging and quietly following him into the estate.

Weirdly enough the doors weren’t locked as he’d expected them to be, but there definitely was the familiar sound of buzzing electricity coming from inside the house. There was therefore not the slightest doubt in his mind that this was the place they had been looking for. At the other side of the room there were three giant windows next to each other, letting the moonlight seep into the rundown, moss-filled walls. The floorboards were old and and visibly rotten, they’d have to watch where they step lest they end up with a foot through the boards. There were two doors on either side of them and a long half-spiral staircase leading to the second floor.

Sephiroth turned to the other men and pointed out with two fingers, the Firsts that have fought with him in countless mission, and also through a war, immediately nodded before they headed out to search seperate rooms. 

Sephiroth went to the room on the far left and was met with grand piano standing right by the door. He walked over and gently ran his finger over the keys. Brushing his hands when his gloved fingers came away dust filled. He frowned, no matter how he looked at it this manor looked like a normal abandoned home, strewn with mold and cracks on every surface. But still he heard the faint buzzing sound of electricity, there should no doubt be some live cables running in this manor. He thoroughly searched the room and the went to the next one over to search that one, but found nothing of importance. 

His frown deepened, and he was about to find Genesis or Angeal to ask of their finds, when he heard Angeal exclaim from the second floor. 

“Uh, guys? Pretty sure I found something.”

Sephiroth went up the stairs two steps at a time and met up with the two other men. They turned around to face him and stepped aside. A construction of brick came into view in the corner of the room, he’d call it a fireplace but there was no… well, place for a fire. He cautiously walked over it, took off a glove and ran his hand over the bricks. He could feel a slight draft sweeping past his gloveless fingers, and hear a soft buzzing growing stronger. A secret passage?

“There might be a hidden mechanism in the bricks.” Genesis stepped up beside him. “Maybe a certain order one has to press them?” He pondered out loud.

Sephiroth on the other hand didn’t pay attention to the other man at all. He summoned Masamune with a flourish and swiftly slashed at the brick contraption, reducing it to rubble in a few cuts.

“...Or you you could do that.” The other man humphed.

Behind the secret door was a long, unsteady spiral starecase that lead them underground. They walked into the cave following the sound of humming electricity coming from the end. There was a light on seeping through the bottom of the door. 

“A library?” 

Angeal walked up to the rows and rows of books and files, picked up something random and started reading, but Sephiroth opted to ignore them and continue into the big room. Past the second door was a long hallway lined with florecent light and pipes running along the walls. The place, for a moment, made Sephiroth feel a light sense of melancholy, though he’s not sure why.

Angeal noticed Sephiroth and Genesis disappearing into the back, so he quickly put down the book he was browsing on the desk in the middle of the room, and hurried after them.

The long hallways they walked through was lined with doors of different sizes, some grand but locked (not that that was any problem for Masamune), other small, ordinary doors were open, but both were empty of what they are after. The rooms filled with medical equipment and metal slabs made Sephiroth almost shudder at the sight.

The corridor split into separate paths, and Sephiroth debated the merits of splitting up, but ultimately decided against it. Since the lab doesn’t seem to be occupied by anyone except for them and, hopefully, the person he is looking for, they aren’t short on time.

They arrived in a room with rows of Mako tanks stacked next to each other. All tree of the First recognized them for what they are the second they laid their eyes on them. After all it would do one good to know what kind of treatment was necessary to undergo to become a Soldier since they did command most of, if not, the whole division between the tree of them (and seeing as they underwent the treatment themselves, albeit not conscious).

They walked past the tanks containing green Mako, Sephiroth had a hard time looking away from the monstrosity that sometimes occupied the containers. Angeal and Genesis seemed to be under the same predicament. Every tank they passed they gave a sidelong look which then made their face turn in disgust. Hojo really was a damn maniac. 

They had walked into the second row when Sephiroth froze in his step and his heart with him.  
He slowly turned his face, his breath coming to a halt as his green eyes were met with sky blue ones. He stepped up to the container, his hand subconsciously brushing the smooth glass.

Strife was awake and looking at him with an impassive expression, as if he was unaware of his surrounding. His eyes had the slightest shift back and forth, as if dreaming, but never focusing on Sephiroth or anything conclusive. The Mako making them look dim, they were a far cry from when Sephiroth met him in the slums. His long hair flowed freely around his head, making it look like a halo gracing him. The man’s body was stiff, other than the occasional few Mako bubbles making his limbs move by proxy, there was no other movement. There were scars of different sizes and degrees littered around his body, some of them looking more recent than others. Needle punctures, slits and cuts; they were all clearly made with surgical precision.

Sephiroth could feel his hatred for Hojo seep deep into his bones, and, at this moment, he wanted nothing more than rip the greasy, insane man limb from limb

“This is who we’re looking for?” Angeal softly asked. As if afraid of breaking the trance the blond man had put on Sephiroth.

“Hold on, you said he took care of you when you were a kid? How old is this guy?” Genesis questioned.

“He doesn’t look older than 25…” Angeal helpfully replied.

They then both turned to look at Sephiroth, who had not moved his eyes an inch away from the man in the blond, then looked back at the man in the Mako tank.

“Gaia below, his body…”

The outraged voice of his raven haired friend was what finally snapped him out of his daze. He barely managed to avert his eyes from the dimly lit blue ones, to look around for some kind of control panel to drain the Mako. His companions interpreted his actions, and split up to search the room.

He was about to follow their lead when he was stopped by a light tapping sound. He turned to the man in the tank, and found the dimmed, but still endless-blue eyes focusing solely on him. Sephiroth could feel his heart in his throat. He swallowed lightly, and put his hand over the other man’s. The blond seemed to be exerting as much force as he could to tap the glass of the tank with his knuckles. Sephiroth’s gloved hand tightened into a fist over the surface of the container.

“I’ll get you out of here in a moment.” He felt he needed to assure the other man, no matter if he could hear him through the Mako or not, that he wouldn’t abandon him again.

It was a split second, when Sephiroth blinked it was gone, but he’s sure he saw a small, warm smile on Strife’s face. 

He suspects he would have fallen into another trance had it not been for Genesis’ voice pulling him out of it.

“I found it! B12, right?” He didn’t wait for confirmation from the other two men, and quickly pressed a couple of buttons on the panel in the middle of the room. Sephiroth stepped away from the blond man. Waiting for the Mako to disappear. 

The tank was emptied, the Mako carrying the blond to stand on his unstable feet. Then the contraption opened up. The man took one step, then two steps out of the container with his head hanging and his hair dripping green Mako. Sephiroth lightly turned his head in disdain at the strong smell of the green liquid. The three frozen in place were unable to get to him in time before he slumped down to his knees, head bowed and hands supported between his legs, he looked almost to be praying. Angeal quickly took off his jacket and placed it on the small blond’s still-wet shoulders, he remained unresponsive. The raven haired man slowly crouched down next to the blond, hands hovering over his back and shoulder, but not touching, as looked up at the Genesis and Sephiroth.

Sephiroth's sight had been zeroed in on the slumped form on the floor, recalling a certain uneasy smile accompanied with a shaky voice telling him everything was going to be ok. The blond was smiling but his face looked one second away from breaking into tears. Sephirot felt himself slowly gulp and clench then unclench his hands a few times

“Seph?” Genesis touched his shoulder in concern this was probably not the best time to have a recollection of forgotten memories.

He shook himself out of his thought. “Strife?” He asked with a slight hoarse voice, taking a step closer to the men on the floor. “Dr. Strife?” He asked a bit louder. Sephiroth only caught the slip of his tongue after the fact, his eyes widening slightly in confusion/remembrance. But it seemed to get a rouse out of the blond, seeing as his finger twitched, so he continued. “Dr. Strife. Can you hear me?” He crouched down in front of the blond and moved a few Mako-soaked strands of hair away from his face. His eyes were open but unfocused. “Dr. Strife…?”

“...oud…” The slumped man suddenly croaked out in a raspy voice, his eyes still hazy.

“What did he say?” Genesis sounded up from behind him.

Sephiroth’s brows furrowed as he shook his head, not having caught that either. He observed the blond for a few more seconds, before standing up.

The electricity running through this underground lab was apparently for powering the Mako tanks, the lights and nothing more. The room was cold, even Sephiroth had to admit. The blond was not only soaked in liquid Mako but also only wearing the jacket Angeal had provided. He was probably freezing, but unable to tell them. Sephiroth cursed himself for not thinking about it and brought a spare change. The man had clearly not been granted any clothes the last time he had met him, so why would this time be any different. He turned around and began searching through the drawers and shelves for something the blond could wear. After searching for a while he finally found ‘patient’ garbs crammed into a metal alcove drawer on the far end of the room. Sephiroth didn't know if the clothes already had been used, but they’d have to make do.

He grabbed one more robe out of the drawer and went on to dry the crumbled mans body with it then throwing it to the side. 

Angeal assisted him in supporting and maneuvering the blond’s limp limbs as he put on the robe. Sephiroth would feel weary of the fact that the Strife didn’t even seem to notice anyone was touching him, but felt only relieved, knowing that exposure to such high concentration of Mako when you’re not a Soldier would undoubtedly cause pain and discomfort.

“Ok, so we’ve got your guy. Now we leave right?” Genesis paced, looking anywhere but the blond man on the floor.

Sephiroth nodded and turned to Angeal. “Get the car around and wait for us outside the gate. We can’t risk anyone seeing us.” Angeal nodded then stepped up to leave. Sephiroth quickly took his place in supporting the blond so he didn’t fall over. 

He then picked the other man up, feeling his light weight in his arms, he could feel his hate for Hojo rekindle a hundred times over. He watched his hands so not to clenche and hurt the blond in his grip as he followed through the door Angeal had exited, Genesis not far behind him.

“...Is he ok?” Sephiroth could feel the hesitancy the the other man’s voice.

“I don’t know.” He answered truthfully. 

They made the rest of the trip in silence. Sephiroth could feel the tension seeping out of the redhead, but currently had his hands full so couldn’t placate the other First. They walked out of the house and towards the gate, his eyes never leaving the blond’s face. Still not the slightest sound after the one murmur down in the lab. The sun had long ago set and the moon was hung high in the sky above Nibelheim. Sephiroth’s brows lightly knitted as he hurried his stride towards the jeep parked on the other side of the gate. Angeal had left the car running, good. He couldn’t wait to get out of here and away from the mansion. He considered lighting the manor on fire for a few seconds, but quickly reconsidered once his eyes landed on the blond in his arms again.

Sephiroth put the blond in the back seat, secured him with the belt and sat down next to him. 

Genesis entered the passenger seat and turned to Angeal. “You need me to drive?”

Angeal gave him a taxed smile then shook his head. “I’m good.” He said as he set off toward Midgar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im honestly a little dissapointed in the number of comments/feedback I got in the last chapter, but i guess thats showbiz ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> So again, please tell me what you thought of the chapter


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh man this is going to be a lot longer than id first intended. 
> 
> THANK YOU all so much for your support on the previous chapter!! it means so much you guys have no idea! really inspires me to write :)

The road back to Midgar was shorter to the road from. Between falling into a daze and intensely staring at the man sitting next to him, Sephiroth barely noticed the world passing him by. He could hear talking from the front seat, Genesis and Angeal no doubt deep in another of their infamous arguments, but he mostly just overlooked it and focused on the wellbeing of the blond.

The man, Strife, had fallen in and out of consciousness. Sometimes his eyes would focus on Sephiroth and let out a tiny smile, other times, it would seem like he’d fallen so far into his subconsciousness he would even forget to blink. Sephiroth took the initiative and closed his eyes for him, giving the illusion that he had fallen asleep.

Sephiroth sometimes noticed Angeal or Genesis glancing back at them, probably wanted to probe either of them for answers, but eventually decided against. He was glad they had a semblance of tackt. Because, let alone converse, the blond didn’t look like he’d be able to even coherently speak with anyone.

When the blond actually managed to fall asleep, head leaning against the shaky window, Sephiroth would gently cup his head and push it to his shoulder so not to agitate the smaller man. He's pretty sure the action was caught by both people in the front, no doubt making the men’s eyes widen in surprise, but Sephiroth was uncaring of their thoughts on his character at the moment. 

When they got on the ferry they decided the best course of action would be to stay in the car as to not incite suspicion from people when they saw the half conscious man they were dragging around. Shinra, or rather, the Turks, no doubt also had agents stationed here, reporting back any suspicious behaviour. 

They probably already knew of the First’s little escapades to Nibelheim, but except for Hojo and his little underlings, he doubted the Turks knew what the reason of their trip was. He’d have to check extra hard for listening devices and spy softwares planted in his apartment when he gets back.

Because they had decided to stay in the car during their trip over the ocean, the loud clangs of mechanisms and engine noise of the ferry had been twice as audible in the hull as above deck. So it was unsurprising when the blond eventually woke up, his head lolling back and forth before eventually stabilizing, and he continued his gazing out the window. What did surprise Sephiroth, and probably everyone in the car, was the weak sound of a raspy voice they hadn’t heard before.

“You’ve grown.”

The sound was so low that had anyone in the car been talking at the time they would undoubtedly have missed it.

Sephiroth, Angeal and Genesis simultaneously turned their heads towards the blond, everyone wearing an expression of shock. But the smaller man wasn’t looking at them, he still wore the same emotionless expression he had during the whole trip back, intently staring out the window, as if the scenery wasn’t the metal walls of the inside of a ferry.

Sephiroth swallowed a few times before speaking. “Dr. Strife?” He hated how hopeful his voice sounded. 

The blond man hadn’t shown any reaction to the name since the lab, and now was no different. He kept his gaze out the window and the car fell silent once again. Eventually Sephiroth gave up hope that the man would continue to talk, and leaned back into his seat again. 

The ferry hit land and before long they were on the road once more. They had been driving for little more than two days when they finally arrived in the outskirts of Midgar. Angeal turned the car towards the same back roads they had taken out of the city. They might not be able to avoid Sinra once they’re in the tower but they could avoid anyone laying their eyes on the vulnerable blond. They were not getting information on him if Sephiroth had anything to say about it.

The time Sephiroth dreaded the most had come to pass. They had decided to park the car in an inconspicuous ally, to be picked up at a later time, and sneak into the tower. 

As the commanders and general of Soldier, they had the pleasure of knowing the insides of the tower like the back of their hand. Finding a route rarely used by personnel wasn’t hard, what was hard was finding a way that wasn’t littered with cameras at every corner. Though Sephiroth was easily able to bypass them by destroying and/or melting them, the Turks responsible for surveillance would without a doubt find it suspicious. He suppose they’d have to cross that bridge when they get there.

Sephiroth had at first insisted on carrying the blond, but being conscious and apparently having his dislike of being touched back, he decided that he wanted to walk. Or rather, he had stepped back with a look of fear on his face when Sephiroth had approached him, so he chose to let the man do as he pleased. It made Sephiroth kind of happy anyway, the blond being able to convey the word ‘no’ when he didn’t want to do something, though it had been through fear, Sephiroth still looked at it as progress. 

So with Angeal and Sephiroth in the front and Genesis in the back, with the blond man walking in between, they made their way into the tower. The only sound was of his bare feet tapping on the marble floor. Sephiroth constantly glanced back at the smaller man, ensuring he wasn’t walking off in another direction, though he knew Genesis could very well handle it himself, he wasn’t appease until he saw the man walking behind him every few minutes. Genesis sometimes had to stretch out an arm as to block the road ahead when the blond had turned to wander off. Other than that, there was no difficulties on the way to his apartment. That was probably owed to the rarely used paths they walked, coupled with the fact that they had arrived at close to 3AM so very few people were up and about to be able to witness them.

When they arrived in his apartment, there was a tense silence in the air, as if they were unsure of what to do, which wasn’t that far off the truth. Sephiroth barely remembered to feed himself most days, now to take care of another person that was desperately in need of it? Sephiroth was as close to panicking as he could get (not very close, but unusual nonetheless).

They had at last decided to get some sleep in their own beds before discussing the matter further. Having been on the road for about 5 days the thought of some rest was irresistible to them all. So after Angeal and Genesis both left with some form of goodbye, Sephiroth was left alone with the blond.

They were currently in the living room starting at each other, Sephiroth; unsure of what to do, and the smaller man undeterradly staring back at him. 

Looking at the blond Sephiroth could see a few Mako stains had seeped through the fabric of his robe, and the man’s hair looked crispy and had a tinge of green to it, while his skin gave a slight sheen making it look sticky. Strife must be incredibly uncomfortable.

So Sephiroth decided on leading the man to his private shower. He put his arm around his shoulder, never touching, and lead him to the door on the far side of the room. It made Sephiroth feel like he was herding sheep into an enclosure. He frowned at the analogy. He opened the door for the other man and watched him walk by with sharp eyes. 

“You can wash here, use whatever you want.” Sephiroth’s monotone voice made the blond turn around and stare at him with a slight hint of confusion. The general sighed, he supposed this wouldn’t do. 

It made him feel quite lousy taking off the unresponsive man’s only clothing. But he couldn’t very well let the man sleep whilst covered in dried processed Mako, and the other man was everything but bashful (not that it made Sephiroth feel better about the situation), so he carried on.

He gestured for the blond to get into the shower, and he did after a small moment of hesitancy. Sephiroth then turned on the water, not too warm or too cold (he decided to ignore the blond’s flinch), then gradually got him used to the feel of of the stream by cupping his hands under the stream and dropping the water gently on the man’s shoulders and hair. He taught the blond how to scrub the shower gel onto his body, figuring the smaller man would appreciate that rather than having Sephiroth touch him, and then had him rub in some shampoo into his dried hair. The Mako accumulated at the floor of the shower, making the water run green. By the end of the shower the blond looked to have a bit more color to him so Sephiroth considered it a success.

He wrapped the man in the biggest towel he could find and set off to find some clothes that was close to his size. Of course, Sephiroth was not one to do useless things like collect clothes that were too small for him, so he had to settle on one of his T-shirts and sweatpants. By the time he put them on the duration of the blond’s blinks had grown a lot longer, closing his eyes a few seconds at a time, so he lead Strife into his bedroom and gestured for him to get into the king size bed before putting a duvet over his body. The blond continued to stare at him until he no longer was able to keep his eyes open. 

Only after the other man finally fell asleep, did Sephiroth leave the room, letting the door stay open just in case.

He sighed as he sat himself down on the living room couch. His thoughts were in shambles, he had to think twice, then a third time, before finally deciding that taking a shower himself should be his next move.

The shower was quick, he couldn’t leave the blond unguarded for long before feeling the rise of panic in his heart. So he quickly dressed, took a peek at the blond sleeping in his bed, then went on to search the apartment for listening devices. He wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or anxious of the fact that he didn’t find any. So he searched his apartment again, this time more thoroughly. Again it came out clean. 

Sephiroth, after making himself a cup of coffee, sat down at the couch once more, and waited for dawn.

Before he knew it 5 hours had passed, his coffe lay half finished on the table, having long gone cold, and his back was stiff with him not having having moved a muscle in those hours. 

When he heard a knock at the door, he quickly got up at closed the door to his bedroom before opening the front door. He stepped aside to let Genesis in. he was dressed in his casual clothes, probably figuring it was too much of a drag putting on his leather coat and boots. The other man made himself at home and went into the kitchen to make himself some coffee, Sephiroth following after him.

“I’m out.” Was his only explanation was he poured himself a cup. “You want?” Sephiroth shook his head.

They sat in silence, both of them deep in though, when Genesis spoke up again. “So, how is he?” 

He shook his head again. “I don’t know. I gave him a shower and put him to bed. He’s been sleeping for a little over five hours.” And hopefully he’d be sleeping for a few more.

Genesis almost did a spit take at his words, a drop of coffee making its way down his chin. “...You showered him?” He asked, wiping his face with his sleeve.

“Yes, he reeked of Mako.” Sephiroth almost huffed.

“Sure, but-” Genesis suddenly turned his head a fraction, his eyes landing behind Sephiroth. “Hello.” He said softly. 

Sephiroth turned, his eyes landing on the figure standing by the door.

“Hello.” A hoarse voice answered. Sephiroth’s eyes widened. 

The blond was staring at nothing in particular, his eyes shifting around the room, sweeping over Genesis and Sephiroth, then finally landing on Genesis’ steaming cup of coffee. They waited for a few minutes before they realized Strife had no plans on moving, his eyes still glued to the coffee. 

“...Did you sleep well?” As expected the question was left unanswered. The blond shifted on his feet, Sephiroth thought he was going to step forward, but eventually decided to just stand quietly at the same spot, ignoring the two men staring at him.

“Is he… just going to stand there?” Genesis asked hesitantly.

“Dr. Strife, would you like to sit down?” The name made the smaller man flinch, but he continued to ignore them both. Sephiroth supposed he’d just have to let him be until he got comfortable to move around on his own, he couldn’t very well force him to feel at ease.

“So… Strife, that his name?” The redhead asked as he took a sip of his cup, noticing the blond’s eyes following the movement. 

“Yes, it’s his mo- family name.” Sephiroth wasn’t sure if the smaller man knew of this remaining family, but seeing as Shinra was after him, he really didn’t want to complicate things by letting him know. Not until Sephiroth had ‘handled’ it anyway.

Genesis hummed, took another sip then stood up. He walked over to Strife and smiled down at the other man. “You want some?” He asked as he handed him the cup.

The blond man paused for a second before wrapping his hands around the warm mug. He glanced down at the mug then up at the smiling Genesis. 

“Genesis, I’m not so sure about-” Sephiroth started.

“It’s fine, he just wants to taste.” Genesis cut him off without turning. “Go on.” He said to the man in front of him.

Strife was hesitant, but apparently decided to throw caution to the wind, and took a small sip of the black substance. Both Sephiroth and Genesis waited for a reaction from the blond, but the only thing visible was a slight twitch of his eyebrow, then he handed the cup back to Genesis, said man accepted it with raised eyebrows.

“You didn’t like that, huh? I like it quiet bitter, but I guess it’s a bit too strong for normal people.” Strife was looking up at the other man, as if hanging on to every word. Genesis just maintained eye contact, and went to give the man a half-smirk half-smile. “I think he likes me.” He said smugly, slightly turning his head to Sephiroth.

Sephiroth managed to just resist the urge to lecture Genesis on the fact that it was a human he was talking about, not a pet, when a disheveled Angeal walked. 

“Hey, sorry, I slept in.” Sephiroth was about to tell him that they, in fact, had not set a concrete time to meet, so he couldn’t really be late. But Genesis beat him to the punch on a greeting.

“Hey, hey! He didn’t knock!” He said while pointing at the newly arrived Angeal, looking like a child that was tattling to its mother. 

“He was expected.” Sephiroth drawled.

Angeal just smirked at the redhead, and Sephiroth had to suppress another sigh.

“I swear, you guys are making up these rules as you go.” Genesis grumbled.

Angeal walked into the kitchen while asking. “Is there coffee.” 

“Yeah, newly bewd.” He said as he took another sip of his cup. “That’s Angeal.” He said as he turned to Strife and gestured into the kitchen. “Or Angie, if you’re feeling playful.” He said grinned at the raven haired that was leaving the kitchen with a steaming cup in his hand.

Angeal gave him a deadpan look, then turned to greet the blond. “Hello, Dr. Strife. Have you slept well?” He asked with a light smile.

The blond let out a breath, but didn’t answer. Instead he now kept his gaze on the taller man’s coffee cup, his eyes shining with interest. Angeal tilted his head in confusion and looked to Genesis. 

“He wants coffee?” He asked incredulously. 

“No, he tried coffee,” Genesis responded while raising his cup. “He didn’t like it.”

Angeal tried moving the cup back and forth, the blond’s intense stare following its every inch. It reminded Sephiroth of the time in the slums, when he tried doing the same with a piece of grilled meat. Remembering that time only brought a frown to Sephiroth’s face as he felt a slight pang in his heart.

He was then hit with the realization, his eyes widening slightly. “He’s hungry.” He says slowly.

Angeal and Genesis ‘aah’ed in unison.

“Should we order something up?” Angeal asked Sephiroth.

“They stopped serving breakfast an hour ago.” Genesis replied.

“Man, I really slept in…” He said, rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment.

“I’ll make something.” Sephiroth said as he got up from the couch and headed into his kitchen. Angeal and Genesis threw each other a quizzical expression.

“Do you know how to cook?” Angeal asked as he followed behind him.

“How hard can it be.” He replied with a haughty smirk.

Apparently it was hard, because not one minute after the blond had swiftly gobbled down a whole dish of scrambled egg, he had ran into the bathroom and thrown up. The three heard the blond heaving up his stomach in the room next door and shared a look. Genesis bent down and took a piece of egg left over on the side of the plate and popped it into his mouth.

“It’s not bad.” He said while chewing.

“Maybe the eggs were bad?” Angeal asked with a slight frown.

Sephiroth shook his head. “No, I checked the date.”

Genesis huffed and threw himself down on the couch, deep in thought, when the blond once more entered the room, looking like anything but a man that had just thrown up the contents of his stomach. He gave Sephiroth a small smile when his eyes landed on him, that disappeared after only a second. Sephiroth felt compelled to smile back, so he did.

“Are you ok?” Angeal asked, even though he knew the blond wouldn’t answer, he probably figured it couldn’t hurt to include him in conversations, maybe it’d increase the speed of the development of his health. Besides just talking over the blond and ignoring him seems cruel, especially after what he suspects the other man has been through.

Sephiroth went and filled a glass with water then handed it to the blond standing stock still in the edge of the room. “Drink this.” The smaller man did, he first started with small sips then by the end of the glass took big gulps, as if it was the best thing he had ever tasted. Sephiroth took the glass back and went to fill it anew before handing it back to him. Again, he gulped it down, this time even faster.

“At least he’s not throwing up that.” Genesis snorted.

After a few seconds Angeal whipped his head up. “Oh, gods, no wonder he can't keep food down. They probably have had him on a liquid diet.” He breath in a whisper.

Sephiroth hit himself for not thinking about it, he really wasn’t fit to look after a human being. Could he even have thought of that if it hadn’t been for Angeal’s quick thinking? His memories returned to the day in the slums, how the blond had thrown up the little food he had eaten. His face folded into a furious expression as the implications sunk in. Damn Hojo to hell, he’ll make sure the man pays for what he had done.

“So, soups, then?” Genesis asked. “None of us can cook so we’ll have to go out to a restaurant to fetch an order.”

“I could ask Zack over? He knows his way around a kitchen.” Angeal, looking at the ground in thought, seemed to be wondering out loud. “Plus we wouldn’t have to wait for it, or pick it up. We could have the food ready sooner. He looks to be starving.” He turned to Sephiroth in question.

“Call him over.” Sephiroth agreed and went to usher the blond into the couch.

Angeal left the room to make a call on his PHS, which left Sephiroth, Strife and Genesis in the living room. They sat in silence for a few seconds before Genesis took out his PHS and began tapping away. Sephiroth kept his eyes on the blond, but Strife seems to have fallen into another one of his trances. His eyes looking down, focusing on nothing in particular. Aside from the ocationall bob of his head or loud exhale, he did not move or make a sound.

What must have made him like this… What must he have gone through to make him retreat so far into himself? The thought made him want to punch something, preferably Hojo and his sick underlings. He suppressed his anger, afraid of how it might affect the blond if he notices it and thinks it’s directed at him. 

Sephiroth clenched his hands and fell back into the couch, as Genesis finally spoke up.

“It seems like we’d have to keep him on a liquid only diet for about three to four days. Preferably something with enough calories and carbohydrates. After the the three to four days he can start ingesting something of a little thicker consistency, like porridge and such…” 

Sephiroth raised his eyebrows. “It says that?”

Genesis shrugged. “Well, in summary.”

“Thank you.” 

Genesis knitted his brows as if he didn’t like or want Sephiroth’s gratitude at all. Well that’s too bad, because he intended to give it. He didn’t know how he would have handled this situation had he chosen to not involve Angeal and Genesis like he had first deliberated doing. No doubt it wouldn’t have gone as smoothly as it currently was. His eyes landed on Strife again.

“He’s on his way.” Angeal said as he stepped back into the apartment.

“What did you tell him?” Genesis asked, putting away his PHS.

Angeal coughed. “Nothing much, I don’t trust that the line is secure.” He looked to the blond sitting in a daze between Sephiroth and Genesis. “We’ll have to explain it to him once he gets here though, or he’ll get the wrong idea and start panicking…”

Sephiroth nodded, he had been witnessed to the puppy’s panicked ramblings, and didn’t really feel like being on the receiving end of it at the moment.

“Speaking off unsecured line…” Genesis said, his gaze turning to Sephiroth. “You searched this place yet?” He asked, his voice nearing a whisper.

“Yes, I didn’t find anything.”

“Oh, I’m not sure how I should feel about that…” Angeal stated. Sephiroth couldn’t agree more with the sentiment.

Angeal left the room and went into the kitchen, probably to check if Sephiroth had enough groceries lying around. How could he not when Angeal was practically holding a figurative gun to his head while telling him to ‘buy some food for Gaias sake’ every time he saw the sorry state of his fridge.

A few more minutes passed, Angeal going through his kitchen and the rest sitting patiently in the living room waiting for a Third to arrive to cook them some food, Sephiroth almost sighed at the thought, when the door finally burst open and a young raven haired man walked in with hurried strieds, his eyes searching the room for his mentor.

“So, what? I’m the only one that needs to knock before entering a room?” Genesis let out a humorless snort.

“Hello, General Sephiroth, Commander Rhapsodos, is Angeal... here...” His eyes finally landed on the small form with his head bowed between the two men with an overbearing aura. “What’s going on?”

Sephiroth resisted a sigh, and Genesis called Angeal back before the raven haired puppy could get the wrong idea. 

“Hey, Zack.” Angeal said as he walked in, his light tone no doubt putting the puppy at ease, he trusted the man not to do something so dishonorable as bully a young boy, but apparently couldn’t trust Sephiroth or Genesis with that sentiment. “Come, sit.” He gestured for the smaller man to follow him into the opposite couch. Zack’s eyes never left the blond form. Sephiroth could see him opening his mouth and closing it a few times, probably debating for or against a line of questions. The man sat down next to his mentor and kept his mouth shut, but no doubt expecting a thorough explanation for what he’s seeing.

So Angeal explained, it didn’t take more than a few minutes. Zack’s hard stare at the dazed blond got softer and softer as Angeal spoke beside him. By the end of it the raven haired puppy’s shoulders were slumped, he leaned back into the couch and let out a long breath. 

“Holy shit.”

Genesis snorted. “That’s one way to put it. So you think you’re up for it?”

Zack blinked a few times before his mind was fully caught up with the conversation. “What? Make some soup? Sure, man.” He ran a hand through his dark spikes, then got up and headed towards the kitchen. He paused before he got too far, and turned to the blond on the couch. He walked over to him and squatted down in front of him. He looked up at the blond with a kind smile. Sephiroth resisted telling him he would respond to most questions or conversations, and instead turned to watch the exchange.

“Hi, I’m zack.” He said in a lower voice that what was necessarily normal for him. 

“Hello.” The blond answered back in an even lower voice. Sephiroth would probably not get used to the blond responding any time soon, as he felt his breath getting stuck in his throat. 

Zack just gave the smaller blond a grin before continuing. “I’m gonna go make you some food, you wanna come with me?”

All of the three First’s eyebrows shot to their hairline when they saw the blond stand up and follow the puppy into the kitchen. Zack smiled as he walked in front, leading the way.

Genesis closed his mouth and huffed a laugh. “Guess it’s true when they say the puppy’s skilled at bringing people out of their shell.”

Angeal just smiled, his pride adamant on his face.

They heard the clinking of dishes from the kitchen, accompanied by Zack’s constant chatter, Though the raven haired didn’t get any response to his questions and inquiries, he continued talking while making the food, never once stopping to take a breath.

At long last the food was ready and served, Zack placed a bowl in front of the blond sitting on the kitchen bench and placed a spoon in his hand. The blond easily accepted the spoon, but seemed to be waiting for something else.

“You have to give him permission.” Sephiroth advices from the doorway he’d taken to lean against. 

At his words the puppy’s smile forze on his face and his body language turned ridged. His eyebrows twitched as he clenched his mouth. It was obvious he wanted to yell at someone, but knew that there was no one at fault here. Instead he pushed down his frustration and turned to Strife.

“You can go ahead and eat, dude.” His smile was strained, hopefully the blond wouldn’t notice the difference. 

The smaller man quickly gulped down the bowl creamy soup with vigor, then quietly fell into another daze. Zack’s lip folded into an almost pout as he witnessed the scene, then went to fill another bowl and place it in front of the smaller man. He glanced at Sephiroth while the blond ate, eyes determined.

“Sir, whoever did this…” 

Sephiroth could hear the danger in his voice and nodded. Everyone with involvement in this case, Sephiroth would hunt down and make pay, no matter who they were.

Zack huffed and crossed his arms. As he shifted on his feet he took to smiling at the blond sitting by the bench stuffing eager spoonfuls of soup into his mouth, not caring if it went everywhere in the process. He picked up a clean rag from beside the sink and placed it next to the blond in case he should need it.

“I need to get going. I have a mission outside of Midgar coming up.” He stated with a sigh. 

“Right, sorry to bother you Zack, you can go ahead and leave if you want.” Angeal called out from the couch.

“It’s no bother…” He paused then sighed again as he made his way to the door. “I’m leaving now Strife.” He smiled at the man hung over his food, not at all paying attention to the world around him. “I’ll be seeing you around.” Angeal’s puppy left the apartment with his shoulders slumped and head hung low.

They sat there in silence the only sound coming from the blond eating on the counter. Sephiroth filled his bowl once more, before deciding against a fourth refill in case he’d get a stomach ache. He figured the smartest thing was to ease the blond into things, he couldn’t eat to fast or start on real food anytime soon, and he apparently wasn’t used to sleeping or relaxing, always in a constant state of never fully asleep or fully awake. The thought made Sephiroth’s stomach churn. He lightly shook his head, his hair following the motion. He couldn’t be thinking about this before he figured out how to handle the situation with Hojo, only then would he let his hate and anger truly fester se he wouldn’t act rashly.

He had remembered a few more things of the blond since he got back. Never anything complete, still just fragments, but now that he had multiple pieces he could link them together like a puzzle. A warm hand on his back leading him down a white corridor, and then a kind, but reprimanding voice whispering in his ear ‘Sephiroth, you can’t wander around on your own, it’s dangerous, you have to wait for me.’ Never yelling or shouting, always kind even when scolding. 

A shrill beeping snapped him out of his musings. He took out his PHS from his pocket and looked down at it with disdain. He clicked the answer button and put the device to his ear. 

“Hello, Sephiroth. I haven’t seen you these past few weeks how have you been?”

Sephiroth held himself back from telling the Director to get to the point of this call or he would hang up, and instead went with, “Fine.”

“...Right. Well I sent you a few forms about a week ago that I need filled out, I would very much appreciate it if you could get them back at my desk as soon as possible.” Said the gruff voice on the other end.

Sephiroth almost wanted to roll his eyes, but with an audience sitting across the room staring at him he restrained himself. “You’ll have the forms as soon as I finish.” 

“Alright then, I’ll be seeing you around.” And that's certainly didn’t bode well with Sephiroth. He put his PHS back into this pocket with a huff and turned back to observe the eating blond.

“You know, Sephiroth, if you need to get back to work, I can watch Strife for you if you want.” Angeal called out with a slight flinch. Obviously hating how that sounded as much as Sephiroth did. “I just got back from a long term mission a week ago so i have a claim on two weeks rest before I need to be sent out again.” He finished lamely.

“And I can push mine on a Third squad or something-” Genesis said with a lazy drawl.

“Genesis!” Came a dispeliefing gasp from across from him.

“What? Oh, they’ll be delighted to do my job for me.” He waved the other man away with his hand.

Sephiroth ignored the bickering men and instead focused back on the blond who had finished eating and seemed to have fallen asleep in his seat, though his eyes were closed, Sephiroth knew he was as aware of his surroundings as he always is. 

He supposed it’d be better with Genesis and Angeal looking after him than risk the wrath of Director Lazard, not that he was scared, but he was sure the man would seek him out directly to confront him about his absence, which is one scenario he’d rather not force.

He sighed finally coming to a conclusion. “Alright, I’ll be back by the end of the day.” He went into the bedroom to put on his clothes and came out a minute later. “If anything changes,” He glanced at the blond in the kitchen. “Contact me.” He finished and waited for the two to nod before he disappeared out the door, resisting a final glance at Strife.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts on the story so far? did i get something wrong? anything that needs correction?   
> please tell me about it in the comments!! 
> 
> (I love u guys;_;)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long, i was busy being a lazy ass ;) 
> 
> also I drew cloud if any of u are interested in seeing how i envision him in this story
> 
> https://art-neechan.tumblr.com/post/184446292405/cloud-from-my-fic#notes

The days passed with relative ease after they had figured out a schedule of who were to look out for Strife on which days. The responsibility shifted between the three Firsts and when they found themselves busy they would call on Angeal’s puppy, Zack. 

The fact that they had confined the blond to Sephiroth’s apartment since he’d arrived, seemed to bother everyone but the person in question. Despite the fact that he didn’t seem to mind, Sephiroth was well aware of the underlying problem of his behaviour. And although he was more responsive now than he was before, there would still be stretches of time where he would zone out completely, forgetting the world around him existed, and retreated into himself for an unforeseeable amount of time, sometimes minutes or hours, on one particular scary occasion it lasted a whole day. 

At the time it had ripped at Sephiroth’s heart strings when he left the blond in Genesis’ care for the day. The man was sitting in front of the window not looking out at the scenery. Sephiroth had placed a lukewarm cup of camomile tea on the table next to him, only to find it untouched and cold by the time he returned. The man was sitting on the same spot he had been when Sephiroth had left 8 hours earlier. A small bowl of cold broth was placed next to the cup, also untouched. Genesis, with a chilled expression, had conveyed to him that the blond hadn’t as much as moved a muscle all day, when he’d served the pre-prepared food left for them by Zack, Strife didn’t react. When he had tried to feed him, the other man had refused in his own frigid way.

This, of course, couldn’t go on, and hadn’t Strife snapped out of his daze and greeted Sephiroth in his hoarse unused voice later that night, the general would have to involve a medical professional into the matter. Not that there was anyone Sephiroth trusted enough in this situation. But the blond needed to eat so his hand would have been forced.

Luckily that weren’t the case, and Strife had turned back to his kind of normalcy.

Strife had woke and stood by the doorsill, appearing to be waiting for a greeting from Sephiroth. He woke up most mornings around the time Sephiroth got up to make some coffee or wash up and get ready for work. It wasn’t until the action had been repeated a few times that Sephiroth had noticed the inconsistencies in his behaviour. So he decided to sit in the bedroom when the blond was sleeping. After finding out that other man had been sleeping for about an hour everyday, then lying awake in bed until he heard noises outside telling him it was ‘safe’ to move around with someone else close by.

Sephiroth wanted to hit himself. Of course the blond wouldn’t feel safe in a new space. He could try explaining to him that there was in fact nothing to worry about, that Sephiroth would run the first person trying to hurt him through with Masamune, that he wouldn’t let anyone hurt him anymore… But lest he makes a mistake by opening his mouth and make the blond feel even more unsafe he decided to call Angeal over and make him try to convey that this place was secure and that the smaller man could depend on them if he needed to.

The conversation was, as expected, one-sided. Hoping his point got across well enough Angeal instinctively gave the blond man a soft pat on his head as he said a goodbye, before freezing on the spot. To the surprise of both First’s, the man didn’t start to tremble or flinch away like he had done previously. Sephiroth, in a moment of panic, thought he had reverted back to his subconsciously, and was simply unable to respond to the touch. 

But the blond, ever full of surprises had simply lifted his head and given a soft goodbye in return. Angeal stood stock-still, wide eyes observing the smaller blond for a few seconds, before beaming at him, while resuming his patting. Strife returned the big grin with a small smile of his own. Sephiroth had to almost push the raven haired First away from the other man to avoid him doing something drastic next, like give Strife a hug or spinning him around the room in glee.

“Genesis is about to turn green-eyed when I tell him about this.” Angeal told him with a smirk as he left the the Apartment, in look for the redhead no doubt.

Sephiroth suppressed a sigh and almost made to wave the other man out of his apartment. He turned back to the blond once the other First had left and found that the smile had disappeared, but his eyes were focused on him like they’d never been before.

“Are you… well?” He hesitantly asked. 

Other than greetings and the occasional goodbye, Strife hadn’t taken to speaking much. So when he gave out a small affirmation, (that could be mistaken for a scoff or a hum, but Sephiroth knew better) he couldn’t help but let a smile slip onto his face.

Another few days passed with a breeze and Strife was ready to start on real food. Zack, of course, had been chosen to cook him his first real mean, but all of Angeal, Genesis and Sephiroth was present for the occasion. They all fell into silence when the smaller man had taken the first bite of his, probably, just to be sure, over-cooked fish. They knew the blond wasn’t comfortable with too much attention pointed towards him, so the sight of them not-so-subtly eyeing him for a second and looking away to a random direction while he ate was, no doubt, comical.

The room was quiet, every one of the occupants closely observing the blond sloppily gobbling down his meal. They were trying to be inconspicuous with their monitoring of Strife’s wellbeing, but somehow the other man had caught on to their averted gazes and quiet breaths. He looked at each of them, their eyes skittering over his when they met. Genesis softly coughed in his fist before finally breaking the ice. 

“How was it?” It wasn’t always that Strife replied, but he sometimes did, and when that happened the person who got the smaller man to say a word or a broken sentence in reply would normally boast about it to the rest of them, which in turn made a certain redhead’s feathers so ruffled that he began keeping score of the interactions. Currently Zack was in the lead, but they all agreed that it was due to the fact that the raven haired boy practically never shut his mouth, so he is bound to get more replies when asking a thousand questions a day.

“...’s Good.” 

Genesis smiled at him as he made a fist pump motion in the air and took out a notebook where he scribbled something. Probably writing down his just received point. Angeal on his side rolled his eyes then turned to the blond and gave him a smile.

“I’m glad that you liked it. If there’s anything you would like to eat from now on you can just ask Zack for it.”

“And if I can’t make it we can always order it from somewhere on the Plates.” Zack grinned from his spot on the armrest of the couch.

Strife seemed to follow the conversation just fine and understand what was being said, but he still made himself as small small as possible, and didn’t react to the words. They all witnessed the comprehension in his eyes just fine though, so they left it at that.

“Or we could bring you out with us to eat out?” The redhead flippantly suggested, which made three heads turn to him with lightning speed. They each threw him a different set of looks. Angeal, sitting next to him, looked at him with an intense stare, obviously asking Genesis to immediately drop the subject. Zack gave him a wide eyed stare, asking if it really was fine to bring the blond out into the city with them, and if it was, then why hadn’t they done it already. Sephiroth on the other hand, gave his normal, everyday, impassive expression, but his eyes showing he was deep in thought.

But Genesis wasn’t paying attention to any of them, his eyes were kept on the blond to gauge the smaller blond’s reaction. The other man had been staring into the space in front of him, but when he heard the words uttered, his eyes regained some sense and they flicked up at the redhead then quickly down again as if afraid of even hoping.

Genesis clenched his hand and stood up from his seat with a flourish. “Right! Then it’s decided, we’ll be eating out tomorrow.” He’s smile was strained when he looked down at the blond. “Think about what you want to eat when we go out. Midgar is filled with different kinds of restaurants.”

He said his goodbye and quickly left the room. Sephiroth had noticed the anger in the redhead’s eyes the second it flared. He knew it wasn’t directed at any of them, especially not at the small blond sitting quietly on the by the table. Sephiroth fully understood where the fury came from, though he might have a better control over his emotions, he still felt that his resentment mirrored Genesis’ to a fault. He knew that if he acted now he’d only put Strife in danger, although he had a plethora of thoughts and plans of how to deal with Hojo they would all have to wait.

The blond’s stomach appeared to have settled and when they knew that the food he ate wouldn’t be thrown up, Angeal and Zack took their leaves as well. Strife and Sephiroth was left to their own devices, which consist of… nothing much. Sephiroth was never sure of how to accommodate for Strife. The other man, of course, didn’t have any complaints, but he still felt that what he was doing wasn’t even close to enough.

The man was sitting quietly on his seat, fidgeting once in a while. Sephiroth turned to stand up, walk around for a bit, maybe make the smaller man some tea to wash down the food. Mostly he just wanted to keep himself in motion, he’d be sitting inside with Strife for the whole day, but he was never good at standing still for too long. And he didn’t like the thought of Strife being bored in his company but unable to convey it, the thought almost made him twitch. 

As Sephiroth stood the blond’s eyes finally landed steadily on him. He froze in his step as he saw the blue color drilling into him. Strife took a big intake of air before opening his mouth, his lips trembling slightly as his voice finally broke out. 

“Sephiroth…” 

Sephiroth locked his libs and stalled his breath, not even daring to blink in fear of missing even a fraction of the other’s words. 

“I’m sorry.” He let out a shaky breath before continuing. “I… even though this is a dream or- or a hallucination… I’m glad I could see you one last time…”

Sephiroth felt his stomach drop into a pit. He’s frown deepened and his eyebrows furrowed in frustrationangerdefeatdismay, about a dozen emotions ran through him before finally and unexpectedly settling on an empty sort of sadness.

“I always regretted not being able- not being able to- to… help...” Strifes eyes filled with water, but as his eyes grew distant and the shaking smile fell from his face, he blinked the tears away and they disappeared behind his eyelids.

Sephiroth grinded his teeth together, not knowing what he’d do if he didn’t restrain himself. He felt a breath, he didn’t even know he was holding in, leave him, shaking on the way out. He felt his rigid muscles relax at last, and then he felt nothing at all.

A black void filled his heart as the frighteningly bitter realization hit him. Strife didn’t believe the world around him was… real. He thought this was all his mind’s doing in a last ditch effort to keep him sane. All this time… he had ignored the world around him. Not even allowing himself to indulge in a heaven he had ‘created’. He rarely answered them because, for him, reality was still the inside of a tank, green bubbles filling his vision, sharp knives piercing his skin, his words begs and pleads alike, meant nothing out there... so why would they in here?

How many times? How many realities had he created? How much torment had he unintentionally put himself through by finally awakening from his dream only to find his nightmare awaiting him?

Sephiroth didn’t know what to do. He had no idea how to react. No idea which part to react to. No idea how a _normal_ person would handle this. He wasn’t, after all, normal. 

The air in his lungs were convulsing. For the first time in months he wished he was back in the muddy trenches of Wutai, doing something familiar, something he wouldn’t fuck up, something he couldn’t fuck up. He wanted to be exhausted by battle, wanted his lungs to burn in fatigue, wanted his heart to pump with adrenalin. He felt so weak when his battles were so… unfightable. 

His eyes finally focused back on the form sitting in front of him, his hands hanging loosely on his lap, purposefully taking up as little space as possible. It made him look so small, always, always made him look too fucking small. 

He wanted to be angry, at himself and at the person sitting quietly in the couch, _purposefully_ ignoring the world around him. But he couldn’t hold on to his fury, which was like a wirbelwind, leaving him as soon as it appeared. 

“Dr.Strife-” His voice was weak, and Sephiroth didn’t even recognize it at first. “...Look at me, please.” He begged.

The blond shifted in his seat, his lips shaking back into a smile that disappeared the next second. He was… forcing himself to not react… to retreat even further in.

Sephiroth wouldn’t let him.

He got down on his knees with a speed that would no doubt bruise the skin of a normal person. Then took one of the smaller man’s slumped shoulder in one hand and the other man’s hand in another. 

“Dr. Strife.” His voice firm, making the blond flinch and slowly move his blue eyes to Sephiroth’s green. “There’s no need to be fearful anymore. I will protect you, just like you did me back then…” Sephiroth didn’t know what else to say to the other man. He opened his mouth, but was unable to find words that could impart his feeling well enough. He frowned and looked deep into Strifes eyes “Put your trust in me, just this once.” He pleaded with the man.

Sephiroth refused to move until he got a response in return and he communicated so with his eyes, squeezing his hands firmly around the blond, not allowing him to move an inch. Almost a whole minute would pass before the blond softly nodded his head and let out a hum in acknowledgment. 

“...‘n’t disappear.” Strife’s voice cracked.

Sephiroth gave the blond a firm nod of his own and a gentle smile. “I promise.” He said out loud, just to make sure the man completely understood.

After the incident Sephiroth was unwilling to let Strife leave his line of sight, reluctant to even go into the kitchen to make some tea to calm them both. Eventually he did, though he made it quick and had to step out once in awhile just to make sure the blond was still there. 

They didn’t speak much for the rest of the day. Sipping their steaming tea in silence, both occasionally glancing towards the other, Sephiroth giving a warm smile when their eyes met. The blond’s eyes would still sometimes daze over, retreating to instead stare at nothing. Sephiroth would feel a slight panic rise in him, but considering the progress they had made today, he knew that pushing the other man out of the habit might take it a step to far. Because no matter what, where Strife felt most comfortable right now was within himself. And sure, Sephiroth hoped that it one day would instead be by his side, but he knew more than anyone that you couldn’t force someone to enjoy another person’s presence.

“Sephiroth.”

The now familiar voice snapped him out of his musings. He looked to the blond next to him who’s eyes seemed to have focused back to reality, but still staring at the air in front of him. 

“Yes?”

Strife quieted down once more, and took another sip of his half-finished, probably, cold tea. A few more minutes passed before the blond once more called out his name, and again Sephiroth replied. By the third time Sephiroth understood the smaller man was making sure he was still there like he had promised he would be.

“Sephiroth-”

“I’m here.” He stated as he sat himself closer to the other man. “And I won’t leave, unless you ask me to.”

Strife breath in a few time before he fell silent again.

The blond didn’t talk more for the rest of the evening, and when he saw the tiredness take over the other man’s face he suggested Strife go to bed and rest. He turned to him and gazed firmly at Sephiroth’s face before nodding.

Strife, to Sephiroth’s surprise, disappeared into the bedroom unprompted. The General contemplated following him in once he felt a slight discomfort at having the blond out of his line of sight, but figured it might be crossing the line since the other man hadn’t asked for him. Sephiroth leaned back into the couch once he heard the rustling of blankets, then silence.

Sephiroth had once more unintentionally fallen asleep on the couch and was almost startled awake when he heard a soft cry emitting from his bedroom. His mind went into overdrive at the thought of something happening to Strife. He cursed himself for letting the blond sleep in the bedroom on his own, as he leaped off the couch and into the room with lightning speed. Sephiroth was about to call on Masamune when his eyes landed on the small form lying quietly under the soft duvet. 

“Dr.Strife?” He whispered as he stepped closer, not wanting to wake the other man up in case he was asleep.

“...’Phiroth.” Came a meek reply, muffled by the duvet covering half his face.

He walked up closer to the lying form, stepping around the bed and glanced at the dim blue eyes observing him in return. 

“Did you have a nightmare?” He asked tentatively, but got no reply in return. Sephiroth wracked his brain for what to do next. He held back the frustrated sigh threatening to escape and shifted on his feet. “Would you like me to stay?”

“...’s”

Sephiroth nodded his head. “Okay.” He replied as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

The night passed and aside from the blond waking up every two hours or so, there were no other issues. Sephiroth managed not to fall asleep through the night. After the events of the day before he had somehow grown even more paranoid. He was afraid that Hojo or the Turks or whomever would break into his apartment and Sephiroth, even with Masamune at his side will be unable to fight them off, unable to protect Strife like he had promised he would. So he kept awake, watching over the blond as he slept.

When morning finally came Sephiroth set out to fetch a change of clothes for himself and the blond. Strife had taken to borrowing some of Zack’s old garments, given that he’s closer to the Third’s size than he is to Sephiroth’s. Still the clothes hung a bit loosely on his slim frame, but they made do with some belts. 

Although the blond opened his eyes at the same time as when Sephiroth started moving around, he was unsure if that meant the blond had woken up somewhere along the way and just decided to keep quiet. Sephiroth hadn’t noticed a significant difference in Strife’s breathing pattern, and Sephiroth decided to not think about the implications of what it meant if the blond had taught himself how to even out his breathing even in sleep so he would go unnoticed.

“Good Morning.” Sephiroth had never been the conversational type, and he rarely started an exchange if necessary. Certainly not one as useless as this. But Sephiroth was determined to make as many exceptions for the blond as was needed. 

Strife, after making sure Sephiroth had noticed his presence and… given him ‘permission’ to move around, had gone to sit on the kitchen counter closest to the window overlooking Sector 1 without saying a word.

Sephiroth was a bit uneasy with today's plans of eating out on the plates, and had he not beared witness to the blond’s fragile state of mind yesterday he would undoubtedly have cancelled the rashly made proposal. But Sephiroth had seen how easily the blond fell into his depths of his mind. And if he could help Strife by distinguishing reality from a dream by breaking the repeated motions of eat-sleep-wait he would, no matter the risk.

“We’ll be going out for dinner today, is there anything in particular you want to eat?” He leaned against the doorframe as he asked the dazed blond.

As expected he didn’t get a reply. He supposed it wouldn’t matter so much, once Strife was in a bit sounder state of mind they could go out again if he had any wishes.

Sephiroth made himself some coffee and Strife some tea before sitting down next to the blond with his paperwork. He figured he could get it done before they headed out so that no one could pester him about it like Lazard had done before.

Time went by, and the kitchen was filled with the sound of his pen scribbling on paper and Strife’s low breathing. It was oddly calming. Sephiroth had always been the kind of person that enjoyed his own company the most, never quite feeling at ease with other people observing and scrutinising his every move. Strife was different for obvious reasons, but somehow hearing his small sips of his tea and his soft breathing gave him an odd sense of sooth.

“...‘ed meat.” 

It had been a whisper but Sephiroth, with his enchanted hearing, had caught it. “Grilled meat? Is that what you wish to eat?” The amusement was adamant in his voice. “Do you know what kind?”

“...Wolf.”

Sephiroth observed the man next to him. He was from Nibelheim, variety in food there was scares and variety in meat even more so. The blond probably missed the taste of home without even knowing it. 

He had only been observing the blond for a few seconds but his stare had apparently made the blond… bashful, if the soft tint of a blush on his ears and cheek was any indication. Sephiroth felt a small desire to tease the man, but wholly held himself back. It wouldn’t do any good to make Strife more self-conscious than he already was.

“Alright.” He assured the blond with, what he hoped was, a gentle voice.

He saw Strife’s shoulder sink in content as he sipped on the rest of his tea. 

Angeal’s puppy was the first to show up, he had with him a bundle of colorful clothes under one arm and a huge grin on his face. 

“Hey Strife!” He said as he stepped past Sephiroth and into the kitchen where the blond currently sat occupied gazing out the window. “I brought you some clothes you could wear, some that’ll actually fit.” He put the bundle down on the counter and peered at the other man. “Also, I got some hairstyling tips from my girlfriend. If you want I could help you not look like a drowned dog!” He’s eyes twinkled as he laughed at his own joke.

The blond had turned to him during the onesided exchange and given him an almost deadpan stare. “...’ight.” He huffed out.

“Cool, so that means creative freedom, right?” The raven haired raised an eyebrow and tried to hide a devilish smirk. 

That seemed to halt Strife’s complacent mood. He was suspicious of the other man, and rightfully so. Sephiroth almost wanted to refuse for the smaller man, but he had made it a given that the blond should always speak for himself when possible.

“...Ok…” He answered at last, which made the distrustful leer on the ravenhaired’s face even harder to hide.

“Great. No take backs!”

Zack lead the blond into the bathroom with him and gave Sephiroth a grin before closing the door behind them. Sephiroth raised his eyebrows, he debated going into the bathroom to watch the process, but when his eyes landed on his finished paperwork he decided against.

“Fair, I will be stepping out for a while. You are not to leave this apartment.” His voice was stern and could not be mistaken for anything other than an order.

He heard a muffled ‘yes sir’ then picked up his paperwork under one hand and left to turn it in. 

When he came back he heard weak voices emitting from his rooms, knowing that both Angeal and Genesis was there to watch over the situation made him calm his raising panic and slow his hurried stride. He stepped into the apartment and the voices quieted down even more.

Once he got into the living room he greeted Angeal and Genesis who had perched themselves on the couch a smile plastered on their faces. Hi stride was completely halted as his eyes swept the room and fell on the small form of the blond. 

Strife had gotten his hair tied into a high ponytail with two small braids framing the side of his head strapped back with a big, flower shaped scrunchy. He was wearing a light blue frilly blouse and jeans that, unlike Zack’s garments, fit his form perfectly. On his feet he had flats that was decorated with flowers on. Sephiroth was starting to see an ongoing theme.

“These clothes-?” He almost choked on his spit as he asked. Strife was looking at him with a tilted head, blue eyes observing his reaction in confusion. “-look nice on you.” He managed to huff out. He could hear Angeal and Genesis snickering at his reaction in the background, but decided to ignore them in favour of eyeing the raven haired puppy that was standing at the blond’s side looking proud as can be. 

“...’ank you.” Strife said, and somehow his irritation dissipated. If the blond was happy with his appearance Sephiroth had nothing to say in the matter.

“Alright!” Genesis exclaimed as he jumped up from the couch. “Let’s get going!” He lead the way out.

They didn’t meet a lot of people on the way down, but the ones they did meet, Soldiers and civilians alike, kept their eyes on the unknown blond walking in between the three most famous First and the almost equally famous Third. Sephiroth tried to step in front of the smaller form to intercept the stares as much as possible. Even with the disguise provided by Zack, they would have to be careful with who saw them.

“So, Dr.Strife, you given any thought to where you wanna eat?” Genesis asked as they headed towards the restaurant and nightlife district.

Strife sucked on his lower lip then glanced at Sephiroth in question. Sephiroth nodded for the blond to go on.

“... Grilled wolf meat.” He stated just above a whisper.

Genesis raised his eyebrows in surprise, a pleased smile planted on his face. “Alright! I know a few places.” He said as he lead them further into the district.

Strife seemed more and more present as they continued on. He looked around with so much awe and wonder at the tall buildings and lights surrounding them that Sephiroth almost cursed himself for keeping the blond inside all this time. 

They had to slow down a few times to keep up with the distracted blond’s pace, but none of them truly minded.

Taking a few shortcuts through alleyways here and there they were stood finally before a dimly lit establishment. Sephiroth wouldn’t have known it was a restaurant at a glance given the lack of signs portrayed at the front. 

“This place is pretty good, not too well known either so it only has a few guests at all times.” The redhead reasoned as he walked up the steppes and in the door.

True to his words, the restaurant wasn’t littered with people like the other in the district often are. The inside was a bit bigger than expected. Sephiroth could count a few heads bobbing around along the chairs and boots. The atmosphere of the place was cozy, the setting sun a shining over the city and in through the windows helping light the inside of the restaurant together with a few candles scattered across the room.

By the time the sun had fully set behind the buildings of Midgar they had already ordered their food and started eating. The conversation mostly revolved around training and missions, but it often reverted back to the puppy’s oh-so incredible girlfriend, so much so that Sephiroth had to suppress a few sighs every time the topic came up. Angeal just gave an amused smile and Genesis would lean back and not at all try to hide his annoyance. Zack didn’t seem to mind so much as he continued on. Strife had taken to silently observe the group, sometimes smiling at their antics, and even softly responding to the other’s inquiries.

“So, Dr.Strife, do you remember some stories of when our dear General was young?” Genesis asked the blond while sipping his drink. “I honestly can’t imagine a child version of him, I feel like he was born brooding and impassive.” He smirked at Sephiroth.

“I’m sorry- I don’t… remember much.” His voice grew weaker by the end of the the sentence as his gaze fell down to his hands under the table. Sephiroth wanted to throttle the reckless redhead. 

Silence fell on the table and everyone around it struggled to console the blond in their own way. Strife then suddenly spoke up again, head still ducked low, his bangs obstructing the view to his eyes. 

“...’ame ‘s Cloud…”

The group fell quiet once more. Sephiroth’s raised his eyebrows, his gaze glued to the blond, who was slowly raising his head. A small smile was grazing his lips and his eyes was almost glazed over by a mist. He clearly looked as shocked by the revelation as they were. 

“Cloud then!” The first to break the silence was unsurprisingly Zack. The raven haired put a firm hand on the other’s shoulder in a friendly pat. 

“It’s a good name.” Angeal gave the blond a smile while testing the name out a few times. 

“It fits you quiet well.” Genesis hummed in approval.

The blond’s smile grew at the praises he got around the table, his eyes finally landed on Sephiroth. 

As always Sephiroth couldn’t help but smile back. The other man’s smile had always been as infectious as it was rare. “Cloud. I’m glad.”

The group chattet as they finished their food, Cloud smiling while listening to stories and memories shared by by the four. And even when Zack’s girlfriend once more was the topic of discussion the blond seemed as entertained as always, intently following the story through its barely coherent ups and downs. They sat for a few more hours after they had finished eating. Ordering drinks and desserts (not for Sephiroth, though he did enjoyed observing how Cloud’s eyes would shimmer when he tasted the sundae placed in front of him.)

They decided to get going once they noticed the blond start to run out of energy, his head ducked down more and more to look at the table in front of him, his eyes partially closed as he paid attention to nothing in particular.

And so they made their way back to the tower. The streets were still filled with people, but none of the were taking notice of them other than the occasional glance. This time Cloud didn’t pay as much attention to the world around him, focusing instead on his feet, as if he needed to concentrate on the walking lest he would fail miserably. Sephiroth decided it was best he kept his focus on the smaller form in case he actually did trip and fall.

“General Sephiroth, It’s been a while.”

The group froze in their tracks as the dreadfully familiar voice sounded out. Sephiroth’s breath halted in his throat, his eyes flittering to the distracted blond in their midst. Angeal, ever quick to act, stepped in front of Cloud, but that only seem to stir the man’s dark eyes to the smaller form. 

“...Tseng.” Sephiroth finally managed to reply through clenched teeth. 

“Sorry to disturb you on your night off,” He said, not looking all that sorry.

The restless puppy fidget under the older man's stare at it ran over the group and finally landing on Angeal, or rather, the man behind Angeal. Cloud’s gaze was glued to the ground, and from this angel he didn’t look like anything other than a nervous young girl. He just hoped the Turk looked at it the same way.

“This would be…?”

“My cousin.” Zack replied hurriedly, making it sound as far from the truth as it was. “She’s visiting Midgar for the week and we’re showing her around.” 

He hummed once, not at all looking like he believed the easily detectable lie. “I had planned to find you at a later date with some inquiries,” He said as his eyes finally left Cloud and landed on him. “But I seem to have gotten all the answers I need.” Sephiroth’s blood ran cold at the words. “Well then, I’ll be taking my leave.” Like a storm, the man appeared and disappeared, leaving them with a feeling of dread.

Sephiroth clenched his hands, letting them turning white under the strain. He felt his ire rise at the thought of having to hurry his plans along. He might put Strife in danger as he is now, but with Tseng having forced his hand, he had no other choice but to put into play sooner rather than later.

Sephiroth almost flinched when he felt a gentle touch easing around his hand.

“Sephiroth…?” Blue eyes were peering up at him in question and Sephiroth forced himself to relax and unclench his muscles. Cloud managed to slip a hand into his once the pressure let up, his cold fingers bringing him a sense of serenity. The blond’s hands tightened around his and Sephiroth mirrored the action.

“It’s alright.” It wasn’t a lie. If Tseng was another problem that arose he would just have to make him disappear as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts?


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> helloo
> 
> unbetaed so ya know probably lots of spelling mistakes sowwy
> 
> i love yall so much, thanks for the comments and support you guys are lovely!!

Cloud had been left alone for the day. And if he’s being honest, gladly so.  
Not that he didn’t enjoy Sephiroth’s company, but he had always liked being the only one in a room without having to overthink the placement of every limb and the air of every breath.

And so, somehow in spite of Sephiroth’s rather insistant suggestion that he stay with him in the apartment, he managed to convince the silver haired man contrary.

_“There is no one available to look after you today. Perhaps I should stay in.”_

Cloud remember frowning… or maybe he was smiling as he replied with a soft, yet firm _“Sephiroth.”_

The other man had huffed, but said nothing else as he stood by the door. Looking back at him one last time before leaving. 

Sephiroth had headed out a few hours earlier, according to the large ticking clock hanging on the wall, and left behind his device used to make ‘calls’ he remembers the red man- Genesis had once said. He need only flip it open, press the number one button and put it to his ear to contact Sephiroth if needed.

Cloud sighed as he finished up his scrambled eggs, and pointedly ignored the small, silver machine sitting on the countertop. 

He couldn’t always remember fully Sephiroth, some days were better than others. He sometimes had flashes of a child holding his hand, looking up at him with big, green, innocent eyes, and then a burning need to protect. 

One of the earliest memories he had of the boy, was one he never truly forgot in the first place, always letting it eat at him when he was left alone with his thoughts. 

Sephiroth had been standing taller than him, looking at him with so much betrayal, so much fear, that he had to wonder if the innocent eyes and eagerness of a young child had all been an illusion… or, if maybe Cloud had managed to swiftly destroy it with his actions. He remember calling out to the boy as he walked away. Not really knowing what he was going to say if the younger man ever did turn around to look back at him. Maybe he would ask for forgiveness? Or maybe give the boy assurance?

One small part of him was terrified at the thought that he possibly wanted ask the boy to save him from the horrid fate he knew awaited him. He couldn’t remember what it was now, but he could still feel his stomach tied into knots at the thought of the memory.

Though once the small back finally did turn around and the defeated, green eyes met his. He could barely stop the words from flowing out of his mouth. He wanted to tell the child that no matter how bleak it seemed, there was still hope. That none of this was his fault so he should banish the thought of blaming himself. That Cloud was so, so sorry for putting him through this when it was the last thing the child needed. He wanted to say sorry, ask for forgiveness even though he knew that might never come.

In the end Cloud wasn’t sure what he’d said to the boy.

He had a feeling Sephiroth remembered as much of their time together as he did, though one twisted part of him hoped the other man never did remember what Cloud had put him through. 

But he owed Sephiroth more than that. He owes him the truth. No matter how tattered and fragmented it might be. No matter how he might react. No matter if he wanted to take it out on him. Cloud could handle it. In fact after mulling over the events in his mind for the past... years- he supposed it had been now, he welcomed it.

Cloud paused the unintentional repetitive scraping motion of his fork on the now empty plate. He stood up from his stool and went to wash off the last scraps, and put the plate way for later cleaning.

Cloud, more than anything, remembered longing when he looked Sephiroth’s green eyes. He wanted to help the child so bad, somehow he got the impression the Sephiroth had asked for help. He couldn’t remember what it was, just that it was prudent the silver haired boy’s wish was fulfilled. In the end he hadn’t managed to do anything for the boy, only put him in more trouble. Sent him away to be tortured, to be cut open and sewn back shut All his wishes, all his trust, the hesitant hope in his eyes- Cloud had destroyed it all. The least he could do was ask for forgiveness. And if that wasn’t given… 

Cloud snapped back to awareness as the warm water of the tap scalded his fingers. He flinched back and unintentionally managed to drop the plate, shattering it on the bottom of the sink.

There was also something else. He doesn’t quite remember what it is, only that he had forgotten it. Like he needed to be somewhere. To talk to someone. He doesn’t recall much of his time with Sephiroth when he was a child, but he’s always had a nagging feeling in the back of his head. Whatever it was it was important. He, at least, knew that much.

The feeling has stayed with him as long as he could remember. If he had to put it into words; longing would probably describe it best.

Cloud blinked back his vision to focus on the scene in front of him. The white plate sitting at the bottom of the sink, shattered into three almost equally sized pieces. He sighed as he turned off the water. He needed a bag. A plastic bag to put the shards in. maybe it was in the cupboard? Or some of the drawers?

He looked in the kitchen before moving on to the living room he had become so acquainted with. The far side of the room was a giant window that reached all the way from the floor to the ceiling, overlooking a giant city bustling right under their feet. Cloud walked past the couches and table to lean his head on the cold, soothing glass. He could almost feel the vibrations of the people, the cars, the lights, all in his veins, pumping along with his heart and blood.

The sun hung high in the sky, Cloud could feel the warmth it was emitting, even through the thick window of the apartment. There were a few clouds out, but nothing that could obstruct the endless blue, blue, blue-

Cloud felt a trickle on his cheek and lifted his hand to itch it away, but instead his pale fingers came away wet.

He was crying?

Why? 

He quietly wiped away the tears on the sleeve of his borrowed sweater. There was a lot of new things that Cloud found odd. But more recently he’d find that he himself was probably the weirdest thing he had come across. He sometimes felt so detached from his own body he would completely forget he even had one in the first place.

Though it didn’t happen as much as it did before Sephiroth had promised him this was all real. He wasn’t sure whether he should believe him or not at first. After all there had been many Sephiroth’s asking to be believed in before this one came along, none an adult as this Sephiroth is, but he had learned through repetition after repetition to be cautious of those sorts of things. Never fully trust anything, because if he did, he’d be investing himself in something that would inevitably disappear, and he’d lose a part of him with it. 

But this Sephiroth, unlike every other iteration, had told him he would be protected just like Cloud protected him in the past. Cloud felth the untruth of it ring in his ears. He had never believed that he’d managed to protect Sephiroth. He had always seen himself as a failure in the eyes of the young one. Never someone able to keep anyone safe. But this Sephiroth saw him as such… so there had to be something different with this version, right?

Only time would tell. And if he one day woke up to the green liquid surrounding his vision once more, he supposes he would manage. Like he always did.

Cloud shook his head. And focused on the room in front of him. He sighed out a breath. Here was a con of being left alone. He never truly managed to focus on any one thing without someone to… ‘ground’ him. 

The others probably thought he didn’t notice things like that, but he is well aware of how short his attention span is. Going about one task and getting distracted before it was done. He huffed in annoyance. It was so hard to forcibly shake himself out of the haze. Like he had to swim against a strong river current just to get control of his body again. Sometimes he’d let the current sweep him along and he would completely lose track of time. It was easier letting go. But Cloud saw that the others didn’t like it when he did that, so lately he’s been trying to fight against it every time it happened.

If he had other people around he’d at least have to be aware of his placement in the environment or situation. He’d have something other than his inner thoughts to focus on.

A strong knock on the door snapped him out of his musings. Sephiroth had ‘advised’ him to keep the door locked no matter who came knocking. 

Cloud quickly and quietly moved towards the door, desperate for something to keep his thoughts occupied. He stood by the closed door, listening intently for the person on the other side. Maybe it was the small raven haired boy come to keep him company... though it was unlikely seeing as Sephiroth said he wouldn’t be back for another two days. 

Cloud stepped away from the door and back into the living room. No matter who it was he knew it was unwise to open the door himself.

He went back to his previous task of- of… Cloud furrowed his brows in thought. There was the food, then the sink, and the plate… the plate had shattered… He needed a bag to put it in. 

He was about to make his way back into the kitchen to search when he heard the door clicked open.

Sephiroth was back? 

He crept back to the slowly opening door, making sure his footfalls was as soft as possible. Sephiroth shouldn't be back so soon. Maybe it really was the young boy sent to keep him company after all?

He froze his movements as his eyes landed on a harsh red color of a young man wearing a black suit and white shirt. He was looking around the house, almost in awe, before his blue eyes landed on Cloud’s form. 

“Hello.” His smile was wide with a hint of predation, his eyes glimmered as ones did once they’d found something interesting.

Cloud took a hesitant step back, unsure what to do. Sephiroth had told him that there were bad people living close by, bad people he should look out to never interact with if possible. Even if Sephiroth hadn’t told him that, Cloud knew when a person had ill intentions or when they were friendly. This man didn’t seem to fall into either category. So Cloud fastened his feet and stood his ground.

“You are…?” His voice was raspy with disuse which surprised even himself.

“It doesn’t matter who I am.” Cloud felt his uneasiness return. If the man was unwilling to give his name it meant he was hiding. “I’m more interested in knowing who you are.”

Cloud forced himself to calm down. It would do no good to go into a frenzied panic now. He knew he couldn’t fight the other man off, but if it came down to it he would make it as hard for him as possible. Since the other man already had the upper hand, Cloud decided to go a more friendly route.

“...Would you like some tea?” Cloud adopted a slight dazed look to his eyes. He couldn’t fight the man head on, but he could make him underestimate him enough to let his guard down.

The man, apparently, couldn't relax his shoulders fast enough. His rigid stance turned to a lazy sauter as he stepped further into the apartment and closed the door behind him

“Sure, I’ll take some tea.” He stepped past Cloud, and deeper into the living room. “So, how long have you been living here?” He asked, barely turning his head to look at Cloud as he examined the room around him.

“I don’t know.” He really didn’t, sure he could make an estimate, but he’d rather not give away information that might be of value to a complete stranger.

The redhead turned to him, eyebrows lightly raised and a small smirk playing around his lips. “How about a name then, blondie?”

“I don’t know.” Until recently he really hadn’t. It was just after his heart-to-heart with Sephiroth that the memory buried so deep within him resurfaced. And it was the friendly faces of the people around him that gave him the courage to say it out loud. 

“You don’t seem to know much of anything, huh?” He said with a deep amusement staining his voice. Cloud almost flinched. Because he really didn’t. He doesn’t know anything of where he came from or where ’here’ even is. He doesn’t know what he's doing here or how he got here. How had he forgotten? It all seemed so insignificant when he didn’t have to directly think about it, but now? He feels like there’s a huge chunk of him missing. An empty space that once was filled, but hadn’t been for a long time, so long that he’d almost forgotten how it felt to be whole.

“...I don’t…” The thought made him feel so small and meaningless. He could only remember Sephiroth, but even he would end up leaving him once he fully remembered Cloud. And he’d be left alone again.

“Uh… Hey, it’s ok!” He walked up to Cloud, his hands raised in a ‘calming’ gesture. “I forget things sometimes too, you know.”

Was he… trying to console him? He must have let his thoughts show on his face. Looking at the alarmed redhead trying to calm him down made Cloud smile. Maybe he was a good person after all.

“Ok.”

The man looked at him in surprised before giving him a sheepish smile, his hand going to the back of his head. 

“So, you don’t remember much, which is fine, do you remember your family?”

“...’y family?” A shimmer of hope crept into him. He had a family? Maybe he could… maybe- He doesn’t remember them… would they remember him? Were they missing him?

The redhead have a small huff of a sigh while looking anywhere but Cloud. 

“I’ll take that as a ‘no’.”

“I have a family.” He stated rather than asked, wanting the other man to tell him everything he knew of the subject.

“I wouldn’t know.” He said in a quick outtake of a breath, not leaving any room for arguments as he headed out the door.

“Wait-”

To Cloud’s surprise he did. With one hand supported on the doorshil, he slightly turned his head halfway to only just face Cloud. “If you want to know more I suggest you ask your roommate.” and then he was gone, door slamming hard behind him.

“...Sephiroth?” 

He needed to ask Sephiroth? Why would Sephiroth know?

He stood in the middle of the floor deep in thought before deciding on a course of action. He strode into the kitchen with a quick pace, and took the call-device into his hand. He needed to talk to Sephiroth. Cloud opened it up, clicked the number ‘one’ on the keypad, and put it to his ear. He waited for about two seconds before there was a sound on the other side.

“Cloud?” Came a slightly distorted voice from the other end

He wanted to ask about his family. Where were they? What if they were worried about him? What if they were waiting for him to come home? ...what if they wanted him?

“I-”

He needed to know if Sephiroth had kept it from him on purpose. He needed to look into Sephiroth’s eyes and ask him.

“Cloud, are you ok?” The voice already beginning to grow panicked, he could hear shuffling around in the background.

“I’m fine.” Cloud said and tried his best to sound convincing. There was a small sigh of relief on the other end. “There was a man here.”

“...Who?” He asked slightly strained.

“I don’t know.” A pause. “He’s gone now.”

“Lock the door. I’m on my way.” And then he hung up.

Cloud stopped for a breath, before heading out to sit on the couch while waiting for Sephiroth’s return.

He has a family or he had a family? Either way he needed to know if he’d left someone behind.

The voice in his head whirled around like a whirlwind, never fully stopping on one subject long enough to let him have a comprehensive thought. He hugged his hands around his shoulders and tried to calm himself. Sephiroth would be here soon, then Cloud could ask his questions.

Cloud would ask, and Sephiroth would answer like he always did. 

He knows he doesn't deserve much of anything from the silver haired boy- no, man, but he at least could ask for that much, right?

And if he wouldn’t answer- If he threw him away for asking too many questions or being ungrateful… Then he would… he could…

He could do nothing but accept it.

“Cloud?”

He quickly snapped out of his thoughts. He hadn’t heard anyone enter, nor someone seat themselves next to him. 

“Hello.” He said as he slowly turned his head to the other occupant in the room.

Sephiroth looked slightly distressed and a whole lot disheveled. His eyebrows furrowed, mouth turned to a sharp frown, long hair sticking to all directions. His eyes held a sadness Cloud couldn’t place. All in all the state of the other man made him smile in amusement. This was certainly a far cry from the pristine young man he had recently made acquaintance with.

Sephiroth reached up to cup his face, and Cloud forced himself to relax into the touch. This was Sephiroth, his Sephiroth. 

Cloud let out a shaky breath, before the worried gaze of the silver haired man became too much and he had to close his eyes. His entire focus shifted to the warmth on his cheek and he sighed once more. Could one even miss something they didn’t remember. Cloud knows he normally would shy away from any and all touch. He doesn’t know what changed, but now, with warmth seeping in through his cheek and running through him straight to his stomach, he was glad it did.

“Where do you keep your plastic bags? I broke one of your plates. It’s in the sink… Sorry.”

“Cloud.” The taller man’s voice turned darker. And for one terrifying moment Cloud feared it was one of his hallucinations, throwing words and accusations sharp like knives, which Cloud had no right or intention to deny.

The taller man let out a small breath before he stroke his warm thumb under Cloud’s eye in a soothing motions, wiping something wet on him in the process.

“Why are you crying? Did the man hurt you?”

What? 

Cloud opened his eyes, his hand going to his face to verify the fact. 

Huh, would you look at that.

Somehow tears kept appearing on his face without his knowledge. Why do they keep coming? He didn’t think he had anything to cry about. He was just thinking about the shattered plate in the sink, then Sephiroth suddenly appeared next to him. He was sitting next to him asking him about… about... he needed to ask him about- family- he has a family! 

He reached up to grasp at Sephiroth’s wrist in a quick motion, making the other man cock his head to the side in confusion.

“I have a family.” Cloud said in an outward gasp.

The words made Sephiroth’s face fall, his brow twitched before all signs of emotion disappeared from his face. The action made Cloud slump in dejection. This was it. He wouldn’t get anything out of the other man. 

“Sephiroth, please.” He tried in a last ditch attempt to get the man to tell him the truth.

“You have a mother.”

Cloud was taken aback, he had never actually expected his begging to work… And he had a mother- someone waiting for him to come home. 

 

Cloud’s exintment died down when his frantic eyes finally landed on the man in front of him. The other man’s eyes were dim, making one question surface in Cloud’s mind.

“...Why didn’t you tell me?” The words slipped out of him before he could stop himself. Half of him wanted to hit himself for ever uttering them, the other half wanted to desperately interrogate Sephiroth for malicious intent.

Even though he said he’d gladly take everything Sephiroth threw at him, he would like to know it was coming.

“The timing was inopportune.” Sephiroth shifted and removed his warm hand from his face. Cloud was ready to let go of his wrist and retreat into himself when his hand was taken, and long fingers wrapped around his own.

“Inopportune?” It even sounded like a lie when it came from him. And Sephiroth had obviously followed the same train of thought because he did something resembling a winch.

“I worried you might want to... meet her.”

This time he did retrieve his hand from the other’s grasp, and Sephiroth looked positively horrified at his action. 

“That would be a bad thing…?” Sephiroth’s hand froze in the aborted motion of resizing his hand. He slowly withdrew and let it lean on his thigh in an unnatural fashion.

Sephiroth let out a huff that could be mistaken for a laugh had they not been in the middle of the current conversation.

“Cloud there are still people looking for you. And if they do find you, everyone close to you will be in danger.” It was said in a quick outtake of breath, sounding like he was reprimanding a _child_. As if Cloud’s question was a silly one, deserving the bare minimal of his attention.

Something in Cloud snapped. Because he had a right to know. Even if Sephiroth didn’t want him to. He had a right to at least talk to his mother one last time. To remember what he left behind all those years ago.

“That's why you didn’t tell me? Because you thought I wasn't rational enough to think for myself? Because you were afraid I’d endanger her and by proxy you?” 

Cloud could feel a heat emerging from his chest, bubbling up his throat, making his whole body shake. He tried swallowing it down but the shortness of his breath almost made it impossible.

“No. I-” The silver haired man’s eyes widened at the accusation, but promptly cut himself off.

The room fell into silence. 

Cloud clenched his fists until they turned white at the lack of a rebuttal or at least a reply. He swiftly stood up from his seat on the couch and headed into the bedroom he’d been sleeping.

“Where…?” Came half a question from behind him. 

“Bed.” He answered and softly closed the door after him.

Cloud had no idea why or how he was so angry. He hadn’t had such strong feelings in such a long time that they all seem alien in him now. Like something uncontrollable, something he couldn’t take and mold into the form he needed to be fitted into. It felt like a fire inside of him, growing stronger and stronger until it turned almost violent.

It made him feel giddy with excitement. 

Doesn’t this authenticate it? That the world around him is real? That he’s real? And he even has something to live on for.

Cloud could never dream the turn of events would turn out so optimistically in his favor.

He felt so many things at that moment he was sure all the emotions were conflicting. It was probably a full minute (or more) before Cloud could fully calm down. He was still stood in front of the door all through the whole process. 

He turned to gaze out the bedroom window, just as spectacular and big as the windows in the living room. It was still light out, and it would probably be a while before the sun started to set. Cloud dragged the curtains closed, blocking out the rays. It doesn’t matter, he had somehow managed to exhaust himself through the whole ordeal. He tiredly rubbed at his temple, hoping to ease the headache he had recently acquired, as he made his way to the enticingly soft king sized bed. He pushed aside the duvet, crawled onto the mattress, and luckily, promptly fell asleep.

He didn’t know how long he had been sleeping, but the edges of the curtains covering the window no longer had light seeping through. His eyes roamed the room before landing on a shadow standing over him by his bed. His breathing stopped in his throat before he caught sight of silver strands of hair hanging around the shadow.

“Sephiroth?”

“I remember you.”

Cloud felt his blood run cold. This was it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why are the turks so interested in cloud's background and family? find out next time (maybe)
> 
> also ill be moving soon and starting college so updates might take even longer :-/


End file.
